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I had to clean out all the pictures in my at&t phone, because I have a new phone with a new plan, and also a new number. This was from camp last summer. The new phone has a better plan, but the pictures aren't as good. See this one is at&t and some of the other ones on her on the new company. I guess I can't have it all. Well off to class.

Ymca

I have been feeling pretty stressed lately. Sometimes my mind is going faster than I like. I have too much going on around me, and I get worked up over issues that bother me. Today, I went to the YMCA, and worked out for about 30 minutes, and then sat in the hot tub. It was great. I just loved it. The best way I can describe it is to getting drunk. Not just any kind of drunk. Now I am not a big drinker. I like to drink Arbor mist, and can drink the whole bottle in a night. That however is like drinking kool-aid. The kind of drunk I am referring to is the kind where you just feel so damn good, but your not sick. It's not easy to find that feeling from more than just a buzz, and being smashed, but not to the point where your going to be sick. I don't get that feeling very often, because the sick feeling scares me away. So most of the time, I am happy with my arbor mist or one or two hard drinks. What I am getting at that this hot tub, with the jets running was out of this world. It made me feel so good, and helped keep my spirts up today.
Afterwards Tyler, and I went to the store, and I was feeling good, and happy to please Tyler's wishes. The boy got a box of little debbies, and some chocolate milk. Yummy for his tummy. I bought Tad a corn beef. He loves that, and I think it's pretty darn good myself.
So I am driving home, and I feel great. Then Tyler says, "Mom how come I don't have a sister? " Is that the time to say, "Well Tyler, you do have a sister, but she was made to go away?" Even though I was grown up enough to babysit her brother and sister, and basically fend for herself. Mommy was lied to and treated like shit. Your sister's name is Ashley, and even though she is your sister, but you won't really know what it's like to have a sister, because she lives with other people. I didn't say all that. Tyler said, I should have had three babies. I think he already knows about her, because everyone else does. So I got to sit down, and explain to him, but I don't think driving is the right time. It's hard for me to comprhend it all. It sucks that kids got to deal with this. Opps I went off the subject of the ymca. We have three free guest passes to the YMCA, and if anyone wants to go and work out, or better yet sit in the hot tub. Let us know, and we will go.
I am close to crazy, but since I know it. I must not be crazy, because if your crazy you don't know it. bye all.

I am at school. I had to learn about the career services program at RVC, because I have to do a powerpoint presentation, and that is what I chose to do mine on. Why that one? Well because, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. We are past mid terms, and I am getting satisfactory grades. In a couple weeks, I will register for my second semester here. I guess I got to get to figuring life out. I just really want to be a Toy's R us kid!!!
My clients are doing well. Bob* has made a recovery. I am not saying he isn't tired. They both will tell you growing old isn't for sissy's. Just yesterday, I over heard him telling her. Remember how your son, Patrick* hated to talk to Sally* because all she talked about was bowel movements. He says well now, I understand. That is always a problem with us old people. lol I bet you just wanted to know if you get lucky enough to live to be old, your going to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Sandy* is doing well, except for her memory. Sometimes she forgets where we live, and other information. Or she will tell you stuff like, we made candy, and you know she didn't make candy. So you just go along with her, and hope when we get home, she doesn't ask for the candy. Well enough for now.
*'s mean fake names

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I am working on a scrap book. This is a drawing of the two story home, my parents owned, until the middle of the 4th grade year. I never knew what I had till it was gone. That was a home that I always knew would be there. Too much moving around after that. This house is gone, because a few years ago, it was tore down to build another walgreens. Like we needed another walgreens. I am not a artist, but I put a lot of work into it, and now I can add it to my book.

Our weekend

We had both kids this weekend, as we do every other weekend. We went out to Sam's for dinner, for fish. Tad is crazy about their fish. I like it too, and it beats cooking any day. But we go there too much. While at dinner, we called Jennifer and Gary to wish them a Happy Birthday. It was Will's idea. When we got home, as always, I didn't feel like moving.
We went to the mall. Will likes to look around at the mall. I don't like to do that. I love to go to the paint store there, but I agree to looking around once or twice a year.
Tyler got to jump on the trampoline.
Then we looked, and looked, and finally Will was done looking. He didn't find anything that was worth giving out his money for. If it had been my money, now that would be different. But that is a kid for you. Then we went to Kmart and bought Tyler a new coat, and some pj's for the winter coming up, and I lost my debit card. I thought maybe it fell through the crack on the dashboard.
Then we came home, and Tyler and I made cupcakes for my brother's Matt's birthday.
Then Tad and Will, and I played Rummy. Then it was time to rest up for work the next day. Boy this is hard work!!!

P.S. I am trying to learn how to post more than one picture to a post,but it's not working quite the way I want it to. Bye all

To my brother Matt for his Golden Birthday

Love you,

To Gary and Jennifer for their Golden Birthday

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Work and other stuff

I am at work for another 24 hour shift. I am so tired of doing these live-ins. I can't complain about the amount of work that I do there. It's no more work than if I was working a 8 to 12 hour shift taking care of the elderly. In a way it less, because they get used to you, and want you to sit down and watch that movie. The last one was October sky. I don't know why, but I felt like crying after it was over. It was such a good movie. I was trying to do my reading, but Bob* pressured me into watching the movie. I am spending hours on the internet, and can do school work, and talk on the phone. It's the perfect job, but I miss my family.
I don't have enough time on the days I am home to do what I feel I want or need to do. I only get 4 days a week with my family, and if you count the days Tyler is with Bill, and Will is with Bill that is even less. Then of course Tad has to work. School is getting to be more time consuming. I did get some postive feedback yesterday. But what I really want or need to do is
Go to the ymca and have fun with kids
Go to the ymca and work out
Walk Ann, and pay attention to all the other animals
Pay attention to my guy (opps Ann came first)
I want to get my head on streight
I need to do more cleaning around the house
I would love to visit with my family more
Also see and talk more to my friend, Rachel.
I want to help kids with homework, and play games
I want to not feel so broke. What am I working for? It seems like nothing.
I want a normal job where I have 7 days a week to spread out family time and all the other stuff, instead of just four days.
Last summer, I really thought at least one of my clients would die before the winter arrived. Well winter is almost here, and both are still kicking. Bob isn't doing too well, but as soon as I think he is a goner then he fights a little more and is a little stronger. There love for each other is fucking amazing. They just love each other so much, and kiss and hug like teenagers. I am not ready to walk away yet, but when one dies the other one will probably follow and then I can get a real job. I don't have a clue what I want to be when I grow up? Do I want to continue working around old people? Not sure. I can't make any real money, but if I got paid bonus for the hugs and kisses then the job would pay. Do I want to go into social services, and provide assistance to young pregnant girls so they can decide to parent or place for adoption. I don't know if I could keep my thoughts about adoption out of the process. So I might not last long if I work for a agency. If women don't place they don't make any money. The adoption agency's are today's black market baby snatching. Enough about that. I want to go home. The silence here or the loud TV is driving me crazy!
Most people would probably be jealous to have my job. You had to do what?? Watch a movie?? But don't forget, I got to push old people to do things like change their depends, take a shower, change depends. Not this old lady though, she changes them herself. I got to watch her mind slowly fall apart. Just a little while ago, she was talking about herself in the 3rd person. How weird. I got to watch his health fail. His talking about he can't hold on much longer. Him telling me how he has to either have a severe back ache, or live with a stomach ache. I get to watch him fight to keep his independence. He wants his son to take care some of the issues like, medications, and running him to the dr, that I can't do. But he doesn't want to lose that fight. He don't want to burden him. He is saying god dammit. I can do it! He did seem to give up driving! Are you still jealous? Because if you are. I can give ya my job, but you can give me your paycheck!!!!! hahahahahaha It's not gonna get ya very far so ya might as well give it to me. I know I just rambled on and one, and I don't care for the moment about comma places lol. Bye all.

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My husband picked this rose from our rose bush. It came from the first bush he bought. It was nothing but a stick when I planted it in the grouid. The bugs ate them in the late summer, but they are coming out now. I guess a last little bit of color, before old man winter shows his face.