About a month ago, we got new furniture. We got it at Home choice. It's a little expensive because it's on a loan but we only had a broken down couch and it made it really hard to have family time. Also our living is pretty big and it just looked unused.
Yesterday, I babysat at the church for the 5th week and I got my check for the five weeks. It was 125 and was pretty much the exact amount I needed to make the payment. I felt so cool to make the payment and not feel as if I had to make cuts anywhere else. It's only about 10 hours of my time and since I do like hanging with little kids it's so easy. I always have a volunteer with me. So, it's been about an average of three kids for two people. It's not the same warm fuzzy feeling that I get from Meld. Or the same fun that I had playing with Amiah last night. She is growing so much. She isn't holding her bottle yet and I think it's so cute. So, Mommy and Daddy still have to hold it for her. Priceless.
Well, besides the furniture, my husband has helped me the other area of the living room where my babies hang out. Dolls! lol I am not really crazy. When you see them in the car seat, then you can take me to the nut house!! lol Well, here are some pictures. It's not the best shots because my camera is cheap.

Sick

I was really sick yesterday. I missed work. I did make it to the doll shop and put a new doll on layaway. When I get him paid off, I will have six dolls. 3 boys 3 girls, Can you say The Brady Bunch? lol This one only costed me about 75.00. I have learned not to pay 200 like I did for one doll. She always reduces the price. I slept a lot yesterday. I feel a lot better. I don't feel 100% though.

Meld

I just started my 3rd ten week session of Meld. It's something that I really enjoy very much. They offer so much support and direction in young Mom's and their babies lives. My life was touched really badly by an adoption that I didn't want to happen. I didn't have the support of my family to help me make it. It's the past but it still affects me.
I have been in contact with my daughter but it's not what I wish for. I have to allow her to set the pace and may I say that she is a turtle. It's okay though.
Volunteering for Meld has given me a sense of peace. It makes me feel like I can be a part of something good. I can offer support to young Mom's and their babies. I can't change what happened to me but I can offer something for the young Mom's of today.
I am trying to raise money for Meld. I have a target date of mid December. I plan on donating five a week. It's not much but it will add up. I already have collected 15.00 from people who read my blogs.
So, if it's in your heart to make me happy. :) and your can spare a few dollars then click on the button to donate for Meld. I will also accept baby clothes, diapers, formula, bottles, and basically anything off of the list that Meld has provided on their site. You read more here.

Today, was a pretty good day. I went to babysit at the church. That is going okay. I am adjusting to the routine of it. It's mostly the same kids but it has changed some. I still don't know the entire what to expect thing. At first there was gold fish crackers and now there isn't. The volunteer brought some fruit and a book. I wonder if I should be bringing food or a plan. I have not been hired to teach them. It's not that I can't teach but I would rather do it through play.
Then, we went to get a ride of the forest city queen on the rock river. I took some cool pictures. Then, we went to the apple orchard and more pictures. I am becoming a person who just loves pictures and even being the person getting a picture taken.
I am working 3rd shift tonight, but tomorrow I will try to post some pictures of our day.

Sometimes you have to be mean

Yesterday, Tyler came home from school and asked for some ice cream and I let him. He starts dishing it out and had a perfect amount and asks if he can just take the rest. I said, no you have enough. So, he took about another scoop anyways and I let him get away with it. Then, after eating some of it. He wanted to put chocolate syrup on it and I said no. See, he stalls for time, because he is suppose to do homework. Even though, I said no. Right in front of me he puts some on there anyways. So, without even thinking, I grabbed his bowl and dumped is ice cream in the sink. I can up with Tyler being forgetful of stuff but to ignore me. I have had enough. So, yesterday, I was a mean Mommy!

It's Ashley's birthday!!! She is 19 years old. Her birthday is a constant reminder because of the 9/11 attacks. It stole her birthday, but I think it's time I stole it back. She was born first. It's just kind of hard. Every time, I turn around 9/11 is being mentioned in books or news. I suppose people who spend their children's birthdays with them wouldn't get how the constant reminders make me sad.
Well, anyways, this year was different. I have had contact with her and I was able to send her presents!!!! So, even though, your not reading this Ashley. Happy Birthday Ashley!!!!!!!! I know your going to go get your tongue pieced and if you were living with me at 19 years old, I would beg for you not to do it, but that's not our life.

Tyler's teacher is ticking me off. I want to reach out and touch her. She is being a pain and complaining Tj hasn't done this or that. I want to scream we are doing the best we can with his 5th grade body and his education level of maybe second grade. Or if we are lucky third grade. What do they want from us? For me to do his work? It wouldn't help Tyler any if we did. Why can't they understand that in order to learn 5th grade material you need the education of that 5th grader? I am not super smart. but I am not dumb. I finished high school. I went to college for a year. I am a good writer. My husband even says so. But guess what guys? I am going to start medical school and be your doctor. It doesn't matter that I haven't had four years of college or premed school and I totally don't get science and I really don't care but I am going to be your doc. I will start my practice on the teachers kids! hahaha I wouldn't think they would want me to use their kids as a guinea pig and miss something important and they kid die of a simple thing. Well, quit using my kid as a guinea pig. Teach him. Damn it. They are making me mad. He is slipping through the cracks and they just don't care. They only have to put up with him for a year. Just pass him on. It doesn't matter that he isn't at that grade level. It doesn't matter that when he gets to high school and can't pass because all of sudden he needs credit. Nope. Not their problem. I wish his damn teacher wouldn't talk/write to me as she knows my child. She hasn't even had him five days in a row yet. When she is helping with his day to day tasks that we still have to work on. Then, she should talk to us in a bitchy manner. When she is dealing with his obsession over how he just has to have a belt or whatever else his one track mind is on then talk to us that way. When she is up with him because he wakes up during the night and isn't aware of his actions. Then, talk to me. We have to keep his door shut, because God forbid he go play in the night. So, teacher, shut up. You don't know my kid or know me. Now, quit writing your bitchy notes and teach my kid.

Labor Day!

It's Labor Day! I am not working because I am always off on Monday. I do wonder why do we need a day to celebrate working. It's not as if most people work because they want to do a good thing. We work because we need money. lol Most of the people who have really rewarding jobs like dr's and stuff can't take the day off anyways.

It's almost midnight and that means that one week from today Ashley will turn 19 years old. She is the best girl. There isn't any girls that could compare to her. I am taking her birthday back. Enough with the 9/11 attacks. It's September 11 and that is my final word.