I am not taking peoples shit anymore. I have gotten into two situations where I am not laying down anymore. Fuck with my kids and I am not taking it. Fuck with a client of mine and I am not taking it either. I am sick of peoples lack of care. I don't care if you only make nine an hour and you don't feel that you are being paid your worth. It doesn't give you a right to snap at people and to move them roughly and then try to say your doing it the proper way. I am not putting up with it. I don't feel that I am paid my worth, but I am not cruel to my people. If they don't want to take care of people then get another fucking job. I don't care what you do. Just stay away from children, the disabled and the old people. Also stay away from my pets. I wouldn't trust these people to watch my dog. I am pissed!!!!! There is no excuse for the things that I have seen in the nursing home. It's fucking horrible. Bail me out if I attack someone.

Does anyone remember how I used to talk about Bob and Sandy? Well, I mentioned Bob has died. Sandy outlived two husbands. She will be 99 next month. I was personally asked to come to the funeral. I bought some new clothes, because I want to look nice. For Christmas my husband bought me a necklace with a cross and I bought me some eaarings. I want to be perfect. It's going to be so sad being around his family again. I was always treated really nice and was at home with them. I really miss them. I didn't go see Bob and Sandy, because it was just too hard. So, I am hoping it doesn't send me into a depressing state again. I am broke and can't buy myself out of it. hehe.
Rest in peace Bob. You and your wife touched me in a very special way. My memories of our two plus years will live on in me. I hope you knew how special you really were to me. I think you knew. I will never forget the day, you told my company that you were concerned for what would happen to me when we knew our time was coming to an end and you said, "We love each other"
Good bye my friend. I will always love you and your sweet bride.

The owner of my company called me about a shift and needed to fill this new client right away. So he asked me what could I work. I am going to pull a 14 hour shift for someone on hospice and the owner is driving me because it's far away and they just know that I will get lost. Am I good or what? I am either good or they ran out of others. haha

I am good at what I do

My little brother called me today. He received a call from someone looking for me. He has my old number. So, I call the person and it was Bob's son. He was informing me of his Dad's passing and I admit I didn't contact him, because I just don't know what to say. So, anyways, he was calling to ask me a favor. He asked me to help Sandy get ready for the funeral and to be there for the lunch at the club. They asked me because I was one of the favorites and probably because I was with them a long time. He offered to pay me, but I really don't care about that part. I feel so honored to help. Also, the good news is that when someone told me that Sandy's mind was gone, it wasn't true. She is doing well in the nursing home.
I admit after losing them as clients, I stayed my distance. I did talk to Bob about a month ago and let him know that I was thinking of him. The loss of them in my daily life was really hard. I am still a caregiver and do a good job, but I am trying not to get so close. It's hard, because the elderly so great. I can't help but have a good time. I have been told that I bring humor. I make them laugh.

I didn't sleep well. I really thought I would have been taking care of Bob until one of them died. Also, Bob's goal was for Sandy to stay in her home and then I would have still been taking care of her. Oh how fast things changed. Rest in peace Bob! I never loved an old man like I did you. I don't think I will allow myself to ever get that close again.

For over two years, I worked as a live in caregiver for Bob and Sandy. That's not their real names though. It was hard working such long hours but I had never felt so much love from a job. During the summer my company raised their rates, because they didn't believe it to be safe for us to sleep while they slept. It was because Sandy wasn't sleeping. Sandy ended up being placed in the nursing home to save paying the high costs and he ended up staying home. Bob totally cut our company out and cut all the things Sandy was used to. Sandy dementia got much worse and they were seperated. It was so sad. Bob couldn't get past the idea that he needed to leave money for his son and his kids even though they were all very sucessful. It's sad, but Bob had a long life. He has passed away at the age of 98 years old. Sandy will be 99 in Feb. and he would have been 99 in june. I think this country is too big on rules and not on compassion. The move didn't need to happen. I believe Bob would still be alive if he wasn't forced to live away from his wife. They did have a good life. They each had two great loves. They married at 80 years old after each one lost a spouse after a long marriage. I will never forget the sweet moments of love that I was privileged to witness like him resting his head on her lap or them holding hands. I miss him and I miss her.

Who wants to see some pictures of our decorating OUR house!!! It's a awesome feeling to be able to do some of the things that for years I really wasn't able to do. Will and Tyler helped decorate. My mother n law made some handmade stockings to hang and brought some gifts for us. She was really sweet! She doesn't really know us very well, because she doesn't live close to us, but she did it anyway.
I am in the mood to, maybe try to make some home made Christmas cookies! Yum! But who knows if I will actually do it. I will need some elves aka Will and Tyler to help. Life is sweet. I love all of my kids!!! :)
I can't wait for Santa to come, because I plan on kissing him! Now, who wants pictures???

Jen's baby shower tomorrow!!!! I can't wait for the baby girl to be born. I am excited for Jen, because she is going to be a Mommy!! Maybe if I am lucky, I can baby sit and buy baby dolls for her.

I tried really hard to find my doll or a green or red dress for Christmas. I did end up finding something for them though. Want to see pictures of my doll children? Too bad. I don't care if you said no.