I am still working on my scrap book for my daughter. It's a book about me and what I like and what I love. Does anyone have any up dated pictures of themselves that they would be willing to let me include in the book. I am guessing that if your reading this blog that most of the people are family. Unless of course, millions are reading, because I am the best!!! :) I would be honored if anyone gave me a picture to include.
A couple days ago, I stopped by the doll shop to pay on the little red headed doll I have on layaway and found a free pair of shoes for my other dolly. So, no one has to worry the doll's feet are not cold anymore. Don't worry I am not nuts, but just making fun of me. I think I hear it crying. 4th floor here I come!!!!

Today, I went to go see my Aunt Cleo. My aunt Kitty was there also. Aunt Cleo isn't well and Aunt Kitty isn't a young kitten either. haha. I was going to say a spring chicken, but kitten sounded better. My Dad's family seem to be dieing off. I am going to have to take the kids up to see her soon. Life is weird. How come some people get to live a really long life and others die off.

marriage

I asked a week or so what was marriage worth? Well, I have decided that it's worth as much as your willing to put into it. If you just sit and no nothing then it's going to crumble until you can't stand each other. If both parties are willing to listen and understand and show patience then maybe marriage can mean forever. Also, we watched the movie Fireproof and I could see the petty stuff that was going on in our lives. Well that's my two cents on marriage.

oh no babies

I am might be pregnant with 8 babies. haha just kidding. Well kind of. Today, I came home from work and what did I find. Brownie and rabbit in the same cage acting as if living together was normal. We imagine the kids did this to get baby bunnies. This isn't good.
Also, I think my fish is giving birth to a baby fishy. I am very upset about the bunnies. People have little regard for them and dump them off at the shelters. I hope they didn't mate, but I am afraid that they did. It's only nature.

yard work

Today, Tad mowed the lawn. It was way over due. Then, I dug out the rose bushes and hoping they will come back. I also cut down some trees that were growing too close to the house. I was able to pull one from the roots so i planted it in the middle of the yard. Also, I dug up a couple Iris plants and planted them by the mail box. We need to get some tomato plants so we can have some home grown tomatoes.

Next week, marks the the possible close of two years of taking care of Bob and Sandy. Wow! The time has flown by. When I started working for them, I worried about job security,because they were 95 and 96 years of age. I thought how much longer can they live? Well, two years later, I am taking care of them still. She is 98 and he will be 98 next month. I am still asking myself how much longer can they live? I think Bob is asking himself the same thing. He asks me all the time why are we still living? We don't do anything or contribute anything. He is so wrong!! They have opened up their house and hearts to sooo many caregivers and so many have left for one reason or another. Some, never stay long enough to really get used to the live-in situation. Others, leave, because the pay just isn't what it should be for a 24 hour job. I am working 72 hours a week for what is the average paycheck of a 42 hour week. I am admit that I am tired of missing out on my family, but I told myself I want to stick it out until I know they are taken care of. In other words, I want to know they are dead and gone. Is gone in Heaven or 6 just six feet under I don't know.
Last week, we had a meeting between the three caregivers and I was the top dog. I have been there the longest. The other two have only been there for less than 6 months. My co workers and company look up to me. They want to be able to deal with Sandy's dementia as well as me. They ask me to talk to Bob about the touchy subjects. Another co worker is talking about quitting to go back to banking. I am thinking of a job change to so I can increase my income for my family, but I will be honest, it upsets me that this world puts such little value on taking care of people. I am a very good caregiver. I could be responsible for them living so long. I have prevented so many falls and so many medicine screw ups. I have drove them around, instead of Bob driving. But I am still probably living under the poverty level. That's a bunch of crap. Well, those are just my 2 cents for today.

Come to me little fishy... I want to be your friend. Let's have dinner together!!!!

I have been waiting to get my grade from my English 101 class. I got a b!!!!!! I totally bombed the final, but the well written papers must have carried me through. Actually the B is down from the A's that I got the first half of the year.

How much is marriage worth? I say about 20 dollars. I wonder what 20 bucks can get anyone?

My Mother's day was okay. I tried to call my Mom, but she wasn't home. I didn't get to spend the day with my boys, because I had to work. I was pretty surprised when Jennifer called me to wish me a Happy Mother's day. She helped make my day. I did get to talk to Pam who just loves it when I call. I am kind of tired of working every holiday and being "forced" to not take any time off.
Bob* and Sandy* are getting worse. Bob is is very tired and in lots of pain. His pulse was very low over the weekend. He said it was 46. So, basically he probably is dieing. He is almost 98 years though. Sandy is still strong, but a big fall risk. I save her from a few falls everyday. Once in a great while there isn't a stop to it. I have put myself at risk, because I try to prevent the fall, but what I am suppose to do is guide her fall. My mind just can't seem to allow the fall. This is where I could end up going down too. But I got to do what I got to do.
Sandy's mind is pretty much gone. She has been crazy. See see's weird things. We have to just play along if it's no harm. But try explaining why a airplane is in the yard and why the horses are pulling it. Or why there is a man in the bathroom. She hasn't been sleeping well, so the caregivers aren't sleeping either. Bye all.

Tad and I seen this beautiful rainbow. I wonder if we will find gold at the end of it? Only time will tell. Enjoy.

I took my client to the salone. A lot of the time, I look around in the doll shop near there. I have bought two dolls from her and I have been itching to buy another. But I just couldn't find the right one. I seen this little red head doll. I just had it have her. Ouch.. It was more expensive and a rare doll. I could picture that this doll might bring memories of my husband's little Jennifer. So, I put the doll on layaway. This morning, I got to thinking, I can't wait until I can bring the little Jennifer doll home. It got me thinking about my place in Jennifers life. My husband refers to her as "our daughter" But she can't be mine. She has a Mom. I don't see where she fits in as being "our daughter" Also, if I say that she can't be my daughter, because she has a Mom. Where does that leave me with feeling like Ashley is my daughter. I know I am not her Mom, but where can I fit it. Ouch!! It fucking hurts. Also, I wonder if by allowing myself to think of Jennifer as "My daughter" Am I cheating on Ashley? Maybe part of my sadness is that I want to find a doll that could give me memories of my daughter, but one I don't have the memories and two I don't have any idea what doll to get. I know no blond doll. I am guessing the best I could do was buy a Jennifer doll. This is a horrible time to get all depressed, because I am taking a final in 20 mintues. Fuck!!!!

final

I am in my final week of school. Wedesday is my last class and Friday is my final. I am writing a paper that will counter argue that marriages should just be between a man and a women. I figure why should people be told who or what they can marry. I am having a hard time getting my mind if the last stage. Just can't seem to get my head in the right spot. I want to keep my B average. Well, at least I think I probably have a B average.

Last week, I went into the office to drop off paperwork and she asked me if I wanted a fish tank. Today, I picked up a 55 gallon tank. I think it's 55 gallon it might be more. She also gave me many of the supplies for it. I just need the tops and a stand for it. Tad suggested putting it on the bar, but I don't think I want to risk hearing a CRASH!! I am thrilled that out of all the employees she has that offered me the fish tank. I even got a little breeder container to save the babies from being ate. I have a momma fish, but by the time I see a baby it gets munched.
I am in my last week of college. My teacher is actually kind of cool. I didn't like him at first. He is cute is his own kind of way. I just love the way he dresses. I don't like casual dressing on a guy. Jeans are ok, but I like dress shirts.