Why does everyone treat adoption as the dirty little family secret? For women who have lost children for adoption it's a big thing to them. Does it need to be kept in the closet or swept under the rug? No. Sometimes I just want to someone to acknowledge that I do have a daughter. I have fallen for society's trick of don't tell others that you had a daughter. So, very few people know the real me. For those who do know the real me, they just like to pretend that Ashley was never born. They just washed their hands of her. Well, guess what I didn't. She is still a very big part of my thoughts. My children know of her and it's been the best for me. I don't have to hide anymore. I can buy a ring or a charm with the Sept birthday. I can say it's for Ashley. Like Tyler said, when we were making a ocean for Ashley, well she is your daughter still. Damn right she is. If there is anyone who would like to learn more about the struggles and problems Birthmother's face after placing their children for adoption. Even if it was by choice. However, mine wasn't by choice. Choice would mean that I had two or more options. I was given one choice and that was adoption. But it's done and did and I am making Ashley a scrapbook that someday I can have the pleasure to give her. I just know that she is a beautiful girl. Well anyways the book is by Merry Bloch Jones. Enjoy the ocean we made for Ashley. I am sure she won't mind me sharing it with ya'll. It's much prettier in person, because you can see the water.