upset

I have been very sad these last couple of days. Tad and I have hit a road block in our marriage, I am not sure how to fix it. What it takes to keep him happy, is draining me. I can't support his needs and wants, and if he works more hours, to get it with his own money, then I have to pay a babysitter for Tyler. I am screwed no matter what I do. It makes me feel bad because I say things I don't mean. I try to not let myself repeat my mistake but I have been.
I am not sleeping well at night. I don't want to fight, but I feel as if I give in, then I am putting myself and Tad and the kids at risks. If know from the past that if I get too far behind, it's next to impossible to bounce back. I am too old to go running to my Dad's. Too old to be screwing around, with not having money to pay the bills. Besides running home to my Dad's isn't a option.
I don't think he has room for my husband, kids, and our eight animals.

To make matters worse, I get to work and I hear what I think is going to be bad news for my clients and myself. One of my co workers who works with the clients, that I do, is quitting at the end of May. She no longer needs a paycheck. Won't go into details. I am happy for her though. I am the only one who knows as of this morning. They can't seem to find anyone to work live-in shifts and now we have two days open. I could just move in with them, and start making more money, solve my problems mentioned above. Just send my paychecks home. I can't see myself working anymore than I am already doing. I feel really bad for my clients, they can't seem to keep any help. Hello company we are under paid. But no one has asked me. I am starting to get bitter and let them know why. Don't get me going on my review and raise that was due seven months ago.

Then I am reading the newspaper at work, and it's talking about gas getting up to 4.00 a gallon. We all might as well, just sit in our home, and rot, and wait for everyone to kick us out. Pretty soon, we will all be spending half our money just to get to work.
Well I better get going, enough complaining for now. I got a job to do.