Tonight, Meld held a dinner for Volunteers to show their appreciation. I got to eat some pizza for free and got a few small things. I paid for Will and Tyler to eat, because I want to expose this to volunteering and it makes me feel good to make them a part of something that I enjoy. They seem to enjoy going.
After, the dinner, we went to the day care room to watch the children. At first, only one child was there. I was actually impressed. All the other Mom's attempted to hang out with their kids during the presentations. Then, one by one, they brought them in.
There is this one little girl. I will call her Ella on my blog. I think she might make an appearance again. She is a beautiful little girl. She likes to be held a lot. I took on that job. I just loved it. I almost felt guilty for not helping out enough with the other kids, but she was so sweet. I already got it in my mind to want to buy her clothes and toys when my money allows it. I probably will resist, because I don't want the Mom to feel like I am giving her a hand out. I know the babysitting is to help the Mom's and by taking care of their babies that is what I am doing, but I feel like I am the lucky one. They don't even know me and trust that Meld only allows people that they can trust to volunteer. It warms my heart just spending a little time holding her close to me. She get mumbling. mmnnn mmmnnn. It reminded me of cookie monster eating cookies. mmnnnnn
I probably will get into buying the children things, but can't really just choose Ella to get them. I will support Meld and let them decide how to pass the items out. I think that might be the best thing. I am so happy that I have found this program to help. I am done having children and don't really desire starting over. (not that I can if I want to) but it's nice to play then send them on home with their Mommies.

mmmmmmm It's almost May!!!! I need some flowers for my flower bed. It's been raining but it's okay, because April showers bring May flowers. Or I could do my Indian dance.

I am off to the Ymca. I can at least soak in the hot tub a few more times. Anyone know of any other gyms that offer a hot tub? Or anyone want to buy me one? I will use my kid's line. I will love you forever lol
My clients have a jet tub that she is hoping to get rid of because she wants a bigger shower. I can see her point, but I wonder if I can get her to give me the tub. It would be highly against company policy to even ask or accept it, but I can dream, right. Well, I am going to get ready for the Y and then have an appointment and then go to work. So, it should be a good day.

I got an email today from the Ymca. I knew that the pools were closing for five weeks due to some new law that the government has done. So, now they have to spend tons of money to comply with the law and get the pool up to code. I figured that is okay. I will still have the hot tub right? That's what I thought until I got the email stating the pool stuff and the hot tubs will be closing. I thought you got to be kidding.
I went to the website and it's because of this new law. It would be too costly of a project to get the drains up to code and also they are worried because there isn't a life gaurd on duty. I am so fucking tired of these people controlling others. It's like we can't have nothing. It's 21 and older. Who is going to drown in 2 1/2 feet of water? It tells you your risks and that's not enough. It's all these sue happy fucking people that ruin everything. Soaking in the hot tub is better than anything else. It's better than sex, getting buzzed or drunk. You can't beat a good soaking in the hot tub with the jets on. It really pisses me off. These people can't let us poor people have a little fun. It's the people who are so far up in the clouds that they don't remember what it's like to not have tons of money. It's just fucking bull shit. I honestly never drive to the Y just to use the hot tub but it sure motivates me to get my ass there. I only have six more days to enjoy it. It's bull shit.

more pictures

This tree was dedicated for all the babies lost due to miscarriages, still born, sids and deaths in infants.











I thought the water bowl for dogs was cool or maybe it was for small children. I don't know. Ann gets a lot of attention wearing the saddle bags and even one person asked if they could have my special dog. I told Tad that and he said that people probably think she is my working dog. lol So, now I am a nut case on the bike path. But oh well. I had soda, my keys, and my book and I didn't have to carry it.

bike path spring has sprung

I am going to post some pictures from the bike path. If you want to see the difference go here and check out the before. This will probably also be a test on how good my little camera is. Let's hope we can see the difference because there was one.

This week, was my fourth week babysitting for Meld. I really enjoy it. It's mostly the same kids, but it has changed up a little. It's mostly boys, but today there was two little girls. One little girl kept grabbing a hold of the other girl and pinching her. She would cry and kept saying baby. It was sad.
It's taken me a little time to feel more at ease with the kids and I suppose the kids with me. I played peek a boo and it's fun to remember the silly games that I played with my kids. It also shocks me a little when I remember signs like ball, eat, fall down and other words. It's weird how the memory works and it makes me so happy that my son who didn't talk until he was five can't stop talking now.
Next week, there is a dinner for those who volunteer. I might bring my son's and my friend Rachel. Then, more fun with the babies. I am pretty sure that I will sign up for another ten weeks when this ends, because I like being around the little ones. I love how they use the baby talk and make all those cute noises when they are excited.

We got to the Y an hour before we could swim. So, I walked a little and then hung out with Will. It's kind of odd that I blogged about having passes and out of the blue, Will had a friend who thought she could just pay to get in, but it don't work that way. It worked out okay though, because I used my pass for her to get in. I love the Y. I took three ten minute soaks in the hot tub. I think my only complaint would be that Ann can't come with me. haha.
My client refused to donate money to the Y because he said that it wasn't a clean place. I would have to disagree and think it's more of just an excuse not to give.
Then, I ran an errand for my Dad and got some stuff for our cookout. Then, Tad and Will cooked and Will did some mowing the lawn. I just love summer. I am going to start digging the iris plants out of the front yard and make Tad buy me some different plants.

Along with summer, I can't believe that my daughter will graduate from high school soon. Wow!!!!

I am going to take the kids to the Ymca for some swimming. If anyone ever wants to get in with using some of our free passes just let me know. If I can meet you there, I can let you in, but you don't have to hang with us. You can do your own thing. I pretty sure that I have quite a few passes and why not use them.
Swimming doesn't open till 130 so I hope to get things ready and go a little early. Maybe walk a little. I don't use my membership enough, but can't see myself giving it up. mmmmmm hot tub.

Last night, was my third week of going to Meld. I really love it. Last night, I had Tyler with me, but I am not sure if I can keep doing that, because he doesn't really get that we are helping the babies and are not there for fun. We can have fun, but we have be there for the kids.
I will admit that it's been a little shocking to see all black kids. I don't want to come off sounding bad, because of my background with our my family has been around black people, I probably haven't always given them a fair chance. But last night, when I was playing with this little boy and had him in my arms and holding him. He was smiling and his eyes were so bright that his color just doesn't matter. I saw a cute little boy. So, I am going to try to make more of a effort to check myself with how I interact with black people when I see them.
Sunday, I took some pictures of the bike path so I will try and post them soon. There is a difference.
Today, I went to the Y to work out. I had my mp3 player and it helped me stay longer. I walked on the track for an half hour and then was on the elliptical for an half hour. I was able to watch tv on the machine while I worked out. But then, I went and ate pizza at Pizza Hut. Y good. Pizza hut bad!

Work was normal. My client seems to be better this week. At home, I decided to drink some arbor mist that I had and I was petting Ann and thinking how great of a dog she is. Then, she spilled my drink and helped clean it up. lol I hope she doesn't start begging me to drink. Or worse, I hope she doesn't start drinking and driving.
Sunday, I hope it's nice. I want to try out her saddle bags with some extra soda or water in there.

I just checked my pictures from my walk. It's been about a month. So, I got to go take more pictures and compare the difference in the month. Tomorrow, will be perfect. I don't have to work. I guess the icky guy is sick. That's too bad for him, but I really don't want to work on Sunday's anyways. It's so beautiful out. I can't wait. Maybe, I will take a book and spend a lot of time out there. I will have Ann, carrying some soda, and a good book. Can life get any better? I don't think so. I have the best dog.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

I feel sneaky

I have been trying to learn more about video games. Sometimes, I feel like that I don't have enough in common to do with my boys. I honestly don't like video games, but I am trying to take an interest or at least fake one. I get confused about ds and ds lite and ipod's and mp3 player. Ps2 and xbox. I feel like I can event the next cool thing, Nd200 haha Well, anyways, I think Will thinks I am coming around to wanting to buy video games. I feel so sneaky, because I have a wii on layaway at Kmart. I am suppose to pay bi weekly but I am making it weekly so I don't have to pay so much at a time. It feels fun to fool them. Also, it feels good to be a smarter Mom. Years ago, I would have told them about the layaway and if something should happen and I just can't afford. I would be hearing it for the next 6 years. ha. This way is so much better. I know a lot of people don't understand layaways and make fun of them, but oh well. I think it's better than instant gratification.
I am a little worried about telling them once I have the system, because of how expensive games are for it. But I see that most video stores do rent them. So, hopefully it will work out. But shhhhh don't tell them. I have 130 left and that's not bad, because it started at about 200. 00

I met my Dad and my sister for some soda. The boys were with me. It was nice to see them. Then, Michelle came with us for a cookout. We had a nice time playing and cooking. William and Tyler came with me to Meld. Will got into it and Tyler didn't. But I think it's because Will was playing with the oldest one and all the rest were walkers but very little talking. So, they are at that age where they just play and don't really play games with you. I am sure they play the typical games with their Mom but I have to brush up on my baby games.
One of the babies fell down and I signed fell down right out of the blue. I haven;t thought of that sign in years. It's amazing how my first reaction was to sign to the kid. I guess it's cause my last time raising a child involved so much sign language that it was a natural thing for me.
I have had a long day and I think I am going to get my blanket and pillow and lay down with my loyal dog right under me.

I wasn't suppose to work on Easter. I already had more hours, because last Sunday was into Monday and on a different pay period. So, they ask me to work eight hours at double pay. It's almost 20 an hour. So, it's kind of like waving 150 in my face. So, I took the bait. She told me about some drama. Also, another caregiver told me about bats flying around. So, I am worried about bats but I don't see any.
The drama started early and both admitted to keeping the bedroom doors shut to keep out the bats. I thought my family fought. This was crazy. It was mixed with a sweet women with dementia and an daughter who is in a tough postition and has some mental problems. I put up with a lot of bull shit and drama but I snapped. I lost my temper. I couldn't take it anymore. Maybe you are stressed and your Mom drives you nuts but if she is be good don't start shit with her. She rings this bell a lot to get help, but wasn't doing it when people were in the same room. So, the Mom (old lady) and I are watching tv and having a decent conversation and she comes in and tells her Mom not to ring the bell, because she is busy. It would be like me waking up the kids and saying now don't you wake me up tonight. Fuck! I was called a bitch, but I don't care. you don't yell at old people. Also, if a parent has 24 hour care. Go fucking home!!!!! Then, you won't hear the bell ring. I swear I was waiting for cameras to come out and say that I was on tv and it was all a game.

Last night, at work was crazy. I get there and I can tell that we are going somewhere and somewhere fancy or special. I never want to assume that I am going, but most likely I am. I overheard my client tell someone that the three of us are going to a wake. Geeze. I don't wanna go and besides, I am wearing a tshirt and I put my hair up on the top of my head and it was a mess. It was ok if we were not going some where, but it looked bad.
So, I go to the van and I have a shirt in there. But it's been in there for a while and smells bad. So, I wiped it down with a wet paper towel and sprayed febreeze room freshner on it. I could only imagine someone asking what is that you have on. Oh, just air freshner.

So, we get to the wake and the guy tells me that I can sit down and his wife can push him to greet everyone. I don't think she liked that, but I think he was thinking of me and other people. I didn't know these people. So, we get out of there and she takes this road to get out and it led to grass. I imagine it's kind of how people might feel as if they just drove to the end of the road. I laugh.

We go to the Country Club and eat and everthing was going fine. But then we all get desert. He gets pie and is about to make a mess. She tries to stop him from taking huge bites and he gets pissed. I started to giggle but I don't think he caught on.

Then, we head back to their place and as soon as we got out of the car, I didn't think he could walk through the garage and in the house. I tried to get him to rest on the car and let me get the wheelchair, but he wouldnt listen. So, we try to help him walk, but he is going down. Then, they think if we could just get him to the boxes in the garage to set him down. I started to laugh again. I could just imagine him following through the boxes. Finally, we get him down to the floor without a big thud. He is on the floor in a suit and we are trying to help him and he is just getting pissed. The more they argue the more I can't stop laughing. Normally, I can hold it in, but I just couldn't. He finally gets into the house and all is calm again.

When we were eating dinner, he said what other job can you come out and get a free dinner. I said not many. So, after it was all done and he was cool about it all. He said some wild night and I said yea, "there isn't anything such as a free dinner. lol