breakfast

I have been sick since Monday night and not doing much of anything. The last couple of nights I have been at least able to sleep most of the way through. I am hoping to get over this cold soon. Tad brought me some yucky medicine that you heat up like tea. It's like taking a cup full of medication. But it does seem to help so I can't complain. I been eating tons of cough drops and after being gone all day at work and eating them boy does that make my mouth feel gross. I haven't been drinking half the soda that I normally drink. I been drinking water and oj.

Today, I made Tyler breakfast. Tad didn't want any and William is with his friend. I been doing most of my grocery shopping at aldi's and I found a skillet type breakfast deal that reminded me of the skillet meals I used to order when we used to go out to eat more.

It was pretty yummy. Here is a picture to prove that I actually cooked breakfast but don't count on me cleaning the kitchen. Tad always says I make a huge mess but he loves me anyways. 


 

I have a very long day at work today. I will miss my family.

I am really enjoying my vacation. It's really nice to get a break from my clients. The holidays can be stressful on the old people and it's nice to have escaped it this year. I missed out on some holiday double time but that's okay. I probably will have to work new years eve night and that will be double for me.

2 more days until Christmas. I hope my kids like what I picked for them. It can be hard at times to figure out what they want in my price budget. I am having Christmas dinner at my place this year. Michelle is going to come over and help cook dinner. Hopefully everyone will get along and none of the males will try to hit each other. haha If I had to guess who would get mad and hit someone it would be my Dad. Naughty Dad!!! hahaha

Hopefully my Mom will come too. She has to work the holiday so it's hard to say. Well, I guess I rambled on long enough.

I can't believe Christmas is coming up. It just doesn't feel like it. We do have a real tree for the first time in many years. It's different than the real trees that I remember from the past. It's not all pokie and stuff. Bella loves to lay under it and she doesn't seem to like that presents have started to go under the tree.

It's kind of quiet around here tonight. William and Tyler are spending the night with their Grandma on their Dad's side so Tad and I are having what I think is going to be a yummy dinner. I have finished a major Christmas project for Ashley but I can't say what it is yet. I hope she likes it. I love that I can buy her gifts now. I am sad that she is moving away but it's not up to me. I am happy for her though. She is braver than I am. I can't imagine picking up and moving.

I am enjoying my week off from work. The holidays bring on so much drama with the old people and it's nice not to have to deal with most of it this year.

Bella says one of these gifts better be for me.

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Pretty!!!

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Love birds

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3 more work days before I am on vacation from my job. I am very much looking forward to it. However, not looking forward to it being without a paycheck. Oh well! 

FWD:

At meld party!

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I haven't written anything in a long time. I have been wanting to put some pictures up the the whole thing in the computer isn't finding my computer card to get the pictures off of it for my blog. 
I have been seeing quite a bit of Ashley lately. Well, not a lot but seen her more this past couple months than I did all year. We been getting our nails done together and yesterday we got our feet done. It was the first time that I got a pedicure. I don't normally spend on myself but to hell with it. I love spending time with her. She is the sweetest girl. It's a chance in a lifetime to get to know her. She is moving away next month. sniff sniff. I wish she wasn't but I have to give her credit for being so brave and plus she is going to continue college where she is going. I am glad her boyfriend is going with her. I like him too. They seem good together.

Well, I have to get ready for work. 

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We are making progress.

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I played Sorry with Tj last night before I went to the Y. I wish we had more calm moments like this. Homework causes so much stress that it makes me sad.

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On Sunday of this week, I been working for Comfort Keepers for five years. That's a lot of time with old people and it's a good thing that I tend to like old people. I have had my moments where I get upset with my job but mostly it's been a pretty good place to work. I get change of pace when I change clients which is something that I dread but at the same time has been good for me. It's hard for the job to get dull if your learning about new people and figuring out what makes them who they are.
The holidays tend to be stressful times for the elderly. It's like they get super fixated on them and a lot of times they no longer shop so they always think they need to get ready for it. Or they don't prepare for the holidays cause they go to family.
I am employee of the month but so is all the rest of the comfort keepers cause we made it through business jumping through the roof. Well, I should get to sleep. Breakfast with Tyler, then Amiah and me get pretty and smell good together with lotion and brushing our hair and teeth. Then, work for five hours. I believe I will be taking my client to the doc so hopefully I won't leave anything of mine. I always concentrate so much on them that I have been known to forget my own stuff.

I met Ashley at Walmart and we got our nails done together. We basically just got them painted and it was my first time getting them down by a professional. It was really nice to see her. I always enjoy hanging with her. She is like us in a lot of ways. She had hers down black and I got my done in pink. When I was her age.. I could have done black but not at my age lol
I almost wasn't able to go cause I forgot about Tyler's night at the library when I set the date. But it's nice that Jen was able to pick him. Thanks a million!
I feel so darn lucky to have Ashley back in my life. Not everyone is so lucky to get to meet their child after being separated by adoption.  Actually, I don't if anyone that experiences adoption loss is lucky but I am a lot luckier than some who don't know where the kids are and find them and get rejected.

I hope I don't get any kind of trouble blogging about my client. I won't name anything specific so gonna just risk it with that.  Tonight, my client was laying around being sleepy and I really wanted to find a way to get her to wake up and do something other than sleep.
It took about an hour for her to get up to walk her dog and then I suggested we go out to eat for dinner. She seemed very open to the idea and I named a pasta place and she agreed. My company's policy is that she pays for my meal but since I asked it just didn't feel right so I went knowing that I would pay for my own. If she had asked then I could stick to the policy but I don't want anyone thinking I was taking advantage of her. I was looking out for her best interest and that was all.
We had a nice dinner at the pasta place and went home very full. I can't afford to pay for my own but I just can't get past the feeling that clients feel that paying for a client is a royal pain in the ass. It feels more like friends if the friend can pay her/his own way. I think that is part of my issue with how I do my job as a caregiver. I want to feel more like a friend than a worker. Not that I don't work and earn my money but just feel like we enjoy each other's company compared to just being stuck with each other.

Don't know if I made a lot of sense. It's late. I should get to sleep.

I just love watching this chapel go up. But watching buildings get crused is better. Of course i am not talking about crushing a chapel. That would be naughty cause if there is a god.. Your going to go to hell for doing that. Hot stuff!!!!!

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I haven't been writing too much. Just been lazy and sending pictures to my blog. Work has been keeping me pretty busy. One minute, I am happy with the hours and the clients and the next day I just wish I could go home. We been trying really hard to get out of the habit of running to the store everyday since we don't get money every day it's kind of pointless to go daily. I hate the new store now. They just seem so expensive and the store brand products are hit or miss if they are any good or not.
Today, I went to aldi after work and spent 100 in food. I didn't think that was possible there. Tonight, we are cooking a huge pizza that I got from there.

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Making progress!!

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I been working more for a couple months now. It wasn't easy going back to full time hours cause it's been a really long time since I have worked a full 40 hour week. I kind of got spoiled being able to stay home half the week with Tyler and Amiah.
I do my best to be the best Mom to Tyler and the best Grandma to Amiah. Amiah always says Momma but Tad thinks she says mymy. Well, I tell her Grandma so she will say my name. It's cute. This picture was taken at the church last week when it was warm out still. I love that my little part time job allows me to bring Tyler and Amiah with me. They even accept naughty teenagers like William. haha
One of my fun moments during the day is when I get ready for work Amiah tends to hang out with me. She wants to get the same things I do to myself. I have this new cherry lotion and body spray and she wants the same thing. I only put a tiny bit on her. She brushes her hair with me and her teeth also.
I am sick right now cause I kissed on her when she was sick. So, no one can say that Amiah doesn't share. lol So, far Tyler hasn't gotten the sickness and that's good cause of his asthma.
He is in middle school now and that's seems as stressful for me that it is for him. Well, i kind of rambled and should rest cause I work tomorrow. I hope they don't ever make me work six days again. I need two days off with my family,

Beautiful day with my family.
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Work was giving away free furniture and I just happened to be the first one to call. So, I go to get it and I am asked to pee in a cup for a drug test. I just had to say ah man I shouldn't have smoked that weed!! They all laughed and I am glad cause I need to be on their good side so they remember me if I lose a client. Taking care of the elderly is a big risk because I don't have the security of a job but then who really does in this day and age.

Tonight, I went back to volunteer and my little sister couldn't come. We had eight children and three volunteers. Lots, of crying babies but I did get the one that always cries to sleep on me. 

Wearing my badge. The next comfort keeper in the family.

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Note from sister to brother!!!

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retreat

I leave on my retreat tonight. I am excited and scared at the same time. I won't know anyone. It's for Mom's with children with special needs so we all should have a lot in common. It's being put on with the help of Easter Seals so it could be more Mom's with children with mental conditions like autism or other developmental problems but  I would be wrong. We used to live at Easter Seals for therapy but they sort of kick you out after the child is three. They do have things here and there but it still feels like your on your own.

I suppose they kick you because the school is suppose to take over with the therapy and stuff but don't get me started there. Will someone tell me why Tyler graduated from speech as soon as middle school started but there are times he still stumbles over words?

I suppose I should be grateful for how far he has come and I am. I am so proud of him.  Well, I have to get a few things to bring with me. 

Can we build it? YES! WE CAN!!

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My cat wants to go to work with me.

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Tonight, I worked up the nerve to ask my daughter if it would be okay to call her from time to time. See, I connected with her on a social network thing and so we kind of skipped the phone call stuff that might have happened if I found her the old fashioned way.


She wrote back and said that it would be okay to call her. Can you imagine fretting over if it was okay to call your own child? To fear she would say what for? Or she might say why would I want to talk to you? It's what adoption does to a mother. It tears in self esteem down. It makes her feel less worthy than other Mother's. It just plain sucks.

I decided to just ask cause I want more. I want to really know my daughter. I don't just want to be a "friend" on the site. l. It's a huge relief that she said yes.  Now, the question is can I talk freely without tripping over my words and putting my foot in my mouth.

I have a short week at work cause I go on my retreat for Mom's of special needs children. I made the mistake of saying that when Tyler could hear me and he was wondering who had special needs. Is it really true that Tyler doesn't understand that he is different? 

I don't know if that is good or bad. He does know how he used sign language as a young kid but of course doesn't remember sign. It's hard to believe that he didn't talk until about six or seven. 

Well, anyways, I am looking forward to the retreat. It's kind of scary cause most likely I won't know anyone there. I almost told this friend that has a child with health issues about it but I really kind of just want to focus on me and don't want the distractions of friends. 

It's going to be very different for me cause I have never been away from home. I have always been with my husband or kids. I know I will miss them. Also, gonna miss my pets. 

I really haven't been blogging much besides sending pictures here and there. It's been a really stressful time lately. We haven't been the best at always paying the bills on time and they all came crashing down on us at once. WE managed to get the majority of the bills paid but they will just keep coming around. Oh, I wish for an easier time with money.

I am working more now because we just couldn't make it through the week. It was no fun for me to be part time if we are dirt poor. I feel so rotten if my kids need something and I can't buy it. Sometimes, something will be on my mind for weeks before I just break down and spend the money.

This week I bought Tyler a sweat jacket, new bed sheets and got him a hair cut. Tomorrow, we are going to see the Lion King. I can't wait.

In case your wondering what all the construction pictures are about it's a building that is going up outside my new clients apartment. I am taking pictures of it weekly but I notice that not much is showing up different. I may have to start taking them biweekly to see if we can see something differnt in them.  

Well, I should get some sleep cause morning comes soon enough.

Not sure if my phone camera can see the changes but I can see progress.

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My beautiful dog!

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Can we do it? Yes! We can!

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A building we go. Yes! We can!

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My daughter's birthday is creeping up on me again. I can't believe she is going to be 20! I feel old. So far, all I have gotten her is a card. It's cause I am broke. I been working more cause Tad isn't working but we been so far behind in bills that I still feel broke. However, the house payment is paid, the gas bill is paid. Gonna pay the electric bill today. I don't know why everyone wants my money lol  I know if I keep getting the extra hours that we will be fine but I just hope I actually get to enjoy some of the extra after all the bills are caught up.

Back to her birthday. I am not sure what to get her. I can't afford a lot because of all the past due bills that I am catching up. This isn't the time to ignore them. I am probably just going to send some flowers cause honestly I still don't really know her well enough to pick out the perfect gift. It's sad but it's the truth. Well, I am happy that I can send gifts cause before I couldn't. So, I will take what I can get. I love her so much that I would give her the moon but I don't think I can get a ladder tall enough. 

Kitty laying in a baby chair.

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Men working hard or hardly working?
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Here you see Ann getting ready to drive me and her to the bike path. Don't worry she is a good driver. She doesn't drink and drive or text and drive. 

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Here you see Ann getting a drink out of the river. We did quite a bit of walking on the bike path but what we would do is walk a little and rest. I was reading an interesting book so I would pick a good view and read. Then, I would walk more until we were tired and read more. We must been out there for a couple hours. I would have stayed longer but my back gets stiff if I don't have good support.



I regret that I haven't done this yet this summer. It's so peaceful to sit on the river with my dog and a good book.

FWD:

1st homework of the year! (notice the lanyard) I Love school. :) picture brought to you by Tad and wonderful blogging by phone. I wish I was home.

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Tyler had his first day of middle school. I been a little worried about it. I feel nervous and scared for him. When he came home and told us about his day it all checked out okay so far. So, Tad, said no crying or fit throwing. I said, "ya not from him"  hahaha I felt like crying but I had to go work a couple hours.

Another funny thing about stuff said here is that I told Tyler when he cracks his knuckles I am going to pinch him. I just said this last night. This morning, Tyler said, I cracked my knuckles and then I pinch myself.  hahaha he was serious. He just don't get it that the pinches are cause it's not good for his hands.

My mommy loves me and when she shakes the treats I come to her.

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I just can't believe in a few days Tyler is going to start middle school. Where did the time go? I have to go get school uniforms and school supplies and I kind of want to get him a book bag even though he got a free one from that event. I don't want it screaming poor kid when he walks into school. The school supplies will come in handy and save me a few bucks but I don't think Tyler will be very organized with seven yellow folders. lol  It's the though that counts. I am sure I could use the yellow folders for some record keeping of bills and check stubs and all that fun stuff that Amiah likes to try to eat. So, if I don't pay a bill I could say that my granddaughter ate it. haha... I really used that one on a half eaten Magic waters ticket.

Well, I am going to lunch with an old friend and then I got to go to work and I am off the whole weekend. Unless, they call me.

Oh and Will is starting at Regional Learning Center. I wish he kept his act together and could walk across the grand state at the Metro Center but it's not going to happen. I know I graduated from there but I hoped for better for him. Well, there is still Tyler, right? 

I ran into an clients daughter n law and learned my all time favorite lady died about a month ago. But not before she turned 100. I googled her name and found this picture and a story but I won't give her name. I miss her!

Take me out to the ball game.

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I read in the rrstar that at Davis park there was going to be some fun stuff and school supplies given to families that need them. So, cause we are pretty broke lately, I decided we would go. I felt a little bad about it because I know there are people who are worse off than us.

We went down there and there were tons of people. I wondered if they had enough to go around. The amount of people there was kind of sad. It shows just how poor our community is getting to be. There was all kinds of people. Sometimes, when you think of people who need that kind of help I know it's wrong but I tend to think more of black people. Sorry, if that offends anyone. Well, there was of all races down there getting the book bags and supplies. To top it off it started to rain. So, everyone is crammed together trying to stay dry. We managed to get our stuff pretty fast cause Tad heard that they said people didn't have to wait in line.

All in all it wasn't a lot of stuff. But it's a start. Normally, all I have to worry about is school supplies and maybe a book bag and if he is lucky one or two new things because I don't normally buy all his clothes at once.  This year, I have to buy school informs. I am thinking about four of five complete sets. I have to get him gym uniforms and whatever is on his list. 

Family night at camp

It's family night at Tyler's camp. I am hoping he is having a good time. He has never been away for home for so long besides maybe staying at his Dad's house. I am very lucky that the Rockfor Park district offers assistance with paying for camp. It was pretty low cost for us. 

We are bringing all of us Subway to eat together then they have an event going on. Then, he comes home tomorrow. 

My granddaughter

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Some people give me strange looks when I say I have a granddaughter. I guess it's cause I am pretty young. I hate getting into it all about how this is our second marriage and Amiah is my step daughter's daughter. It makes me feel like only half of a Grandma or something. But to pretend otherwise wouldn't be fair to Amiah's Grandmother by birth.

Well, anyways, I love being a Grandma to her. In this picture, she is near her teddy bear that I got for her and sitting on Charlie our dog. Earlier, she is playing with him and teasing him with a ball that he wanted. She was giggling up a storm. I am so lucky to have this opportunity to have Amiah with my husband and me during the day while her Mom and Dad work.

I love doing things with Amiah. Last Saturday, she had a pony ride and played around on the playground and looked at the animals. Monday, I took her to Mc'Donald's for some breakfast. She stole my hash brown but I was gonna share anyways. Today, Tad, Amiah and I went for a long walk around the neighborhood. We found some cool spots around the river for camping. I don't think that used to be there. We let Ann walk without the leash. It was a blast. Amiah is so much fun to have around.  This morning, I made her a breakfast burrito out of scrambled eggs, tomato and cheese. She ate up almost every bite. She must been hungry from the walking we did.

I loved seeing my sister and her daughters. I think they are just so darn cute. I wish I got to see them more often. It's hard to really feel like I know them when they live so far away. I am glad they were able to come over for some pizza and played with William and Tyler. Then, we seen them the next day at my Dad's house. I just really fucking love it how they have eight grandchildren. It's so easy for some people to forget. I will just leave it at that. I can't change other people.

I want an elmo book bag!

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On Monday, Tyler is going to camp for five days. I am so excited for him. It's at Atwood and it's the same place my school went on a field trip when I was in sixth grade. His school didn't do the sleepover but they did go for one day and we have been there several times so I am hoping that it's less scary since he has been there quite often.
We went to the goodwill to get him a suitcase, rain jacket, hat and some used shoes for when they are going to get messy. I seen a cute doll stroller for sale and I just had to get it for Amiah. I think she should have fun pushing her teddy bear or one of my dolls around. 

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Last night, I was eating some sour patch kids candy and a memory from a long time ago came into my mind. It wasn't really clear but I recalled trading cards called Garbage Pail kids. I wasn't sure if they were real or not so I called my older sister and she confirmed that they were real.

I just had to see if anyone had them on Ebay. So, I bid one just one card and won the bid. I can't wait till it comes. It's so interesting how memories can just surface from what seems like out of no where. 

This house is for sale for 7800 dollars! Wish I could buy it.

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Surfing the web trying to get some cat toys!

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It's not about the money! Oh, yes it is!

I picked up a new client and that resulted in an extra hundred dollars last week and now it's only 6 extra hours so only fifty extra dollars coming in. They are not really extra cause Tad isn't working but it's more than my normal check. It was hard getting used to going to work on Tuesday but it's for our own good. 

Tonight, I learned that she is going into a home for the elderly. I can't give specific details but basically I am sure she won't be needing our services. I find this sad because if all possible the home is best. I just love where she lives. It's so peaceful and I just love going for walks there. It almost gives me a feeling of a campground but I can't quite put my finger on why I get that feeling. 


Besides, her going into a home and that being sad and she has to give up her pets, but it's a really bummer because I am probably going to lose the extra income and the chances of picking up more hours right away is very slim. I am really hoping she stays home long enough for me to work those hours closer to school starting because it's going to cost be a fortune to get Tyler ready for school this year. 


It's this feeling of facing a financial loss or gain over clients that weighs heavily on me. I hate that the first thing that pops in my head after learning of this upcoming change after shock is damn there goes that money. If makes me feel shallow. 

I been working for this same company for almost five years and you would think that I would be used to it by now. I have had some clients that I have gotten close to. Only one set that I was extremly close to. I have seen more clients for one or more shifts that I can even remember now. 


I would like to sing that cool song that says it's not about the money or the caching caching.  ya know money sounds but I don't live in a perfect world and money isn't growing off trees and I wasn't born to a rich family. Hmmm unless my parents didn't tell me something??? hahaha.


Well, it's 1 am and I should get comfy and think about sleeping.

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My work just called to ask me about times for a boring work meeting. I get paid but it's all so boring and cheesy. I tend to talk to much because I don't really like the company that I work for but I can't quit because of a non compete thing. Well, I could quit but unless I want to find a new line of work then I have to stay with them.
I figure it's probably the same bull crap but different company anyways. Well, I got to get off here and go to work. I am up to 26 and half hours now. I actually have a new client and it's not in town but not far. It's kind of a nice dry except if your tummy hurts really bad and your afraid you might poop your pants. hahaha well pretend I didn't say that.
Oh if you seen one of my sunflower plants looking dropping it wasn't cause I crashed into with my car. 

If you look closely you can see a butterfly on my sunflower. It was better in person.

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I had a busy week at work. My company signed up a new client and I picked up an extra 12 hours. So, I went from working my 20 hours to 32 hours. It will be about an extra hundred bucks for the week and that is needed because Tad isn't working and everything is so expensive.

Since, I worked Tuesday night, which is my Y night I had to go at other times. I went on Thursday and Saturday I left for work a few hours early so I could go to the Y. I worked out on the elliptical and then I did some laps in the pool. After swimming, I rested out in the sun on the deck.

I knew I would be hungry so I made me a sandwich and brought a soda in Tyler's lunch box and I sat down on a bench and ate while looking at the river. It was so nice. It makes me want to have a picnic with my kids. I almost didn't sit there because it would take me the extra few minutes to get to the bench and I didn't want to be late for work. But I decided to just go for it and risk being late. I wasn't late though.

Today, I babysat at the church like always and I been thinking about taking Amiah with me sometime. I think she would love all the toys and there are other kids there to play with.

After babysitting, I went to the goodwill and bought a few things for one of the children that I babysit at MELD. He has been coming every since he was a newborn. He is about 10 months now. He is very sweet. Well, anyways, I noticed that he seems to need some clothes.

When I got home from babystting, I fed Amiah some lunch and then we played with some playdoh. We made hot dogs and we pretended to eat them. At first. Amiah really wanted to eat it but then I actually seen her pretending to eat it. She didn't really want to sit down and play with it but it's the rules with playdoh.

I love being a Grandma. It's kind of funny when I tell people that I have a grand-daughter because I don't look like I am old enough to be one. So, I have to explain that my husband is older than me and had children from that marriage so I have step children. I just don't like the word step though. It feels so cinderella.  lol  

My view during my lunch outside of the ymca.

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I just got up a little bit ago. Amiah is looking cute as ever. I was bugging her for a hug and she didn't want to stop playing long enough to give me one. So, I thought I would play like I was crying. Well, that made her cry and it was kind of funny but kind of sad. It was kind of like she was mad at me for a few minutes. Silly Grandma playing games and making the baby cry. She doesn't seem mad at me anymore but she still won't give me a hug. Silly girl!!!

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The first sunflower to open.

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You are looking at a picture of Ashley and Tyler and Batman at Six Flags.  Tyler was given a free ticket to Six Flags from his school for being a star reader. I asked Ashley if she would mind taking him because I just don't get into the rides and have zero patience for long lines. However, I didn't want Tyler to miss it because of me.

So, today, Ashley, Kyle and Tyler went to Six Flags.  It was a pretty hot day but I didn't notice too much because of the air. Well, anyways, Tad, Amiah and I were outside just hanging out when Ashley and Kyle arrived here with Tyler.

Tyler got out and just started talking and it was almost like he couldn't stop. He just said he had so much fun. Before, Ashley and Kyle could leave to go home Jen and Ray pulled up to get Amiah. She was able to meet Ashley. It's strange how I went from not really being able to tell anyone that I had a daughter to actually have two daughters in the same place at the same time. It's just amazing! It's almost too good to be true.

Oh, and I forgot to mention Ashley got to meet Tad and last but not least she got to meet my sweet grand daughter Amiah. Again, it's almost too good to be true. Tyler can't seem to stop talking about Ashley. 

FWD:New Message

Six flags!

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Jennifer bought a pool for Amiah to have at our house. I love having her around. She is a lot of fun and generally a very happy young girl. It's fun to watch her become more toddler compared to a baby. She loves to feed herself and is starting to get the hang of it. She loves this pool! She can get in and out of it. It's cute to watch cause she enters head first! I got in there with just my feet and splashed around. I told Papa, I was going to get my swimming suit and he looked at me as if I was crazy. I was just joking about my suit though.

Amiah is on the go a lot so hugs and cuddles are extra special now. I love to cradle her in my arms when I catch up to her. I feel very lucky that we get to take care of her while Jen and Ray bring home the bacon. 

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