There has been some talk that I am crazy, because I am effected by adoption. Unless you have walked in my shoes. You have no right to call me crazy. I could call others crazy for their actions and past, but I choose not to do that. If there is anyone who would like to discuss what I have been through, I would be more than happy to speak to you. If you can't speak to me about adoption, then do me a favor, and don't talk about my situation with others. Bye all.

bye 2008

Happy new year everyone!! Why don't ya'll go get drunk and do things you wouldn't do sober!! lol I am a good girl, I don't do bad things drunk, I just go to sleep. Remember if you do drink and drive-- the cops will put you behind bars---you will ride in the back of a van,in a cage-- like your a dog going to the pound. haha Of course I have never been to jail. You can even get a ride home from the cops, They have a program set up to take you home, but not from bar to bar. You get to look at hot cops on the way home, and you don't go in the cage, and there is no stripping and coughing.

2008 had it's good points

. We bought Ann
.my clients are still alive
.I earned college credits
. my husband brought me home a baby bunny
. I got to babysit snacky (who in a little way reminds me of Tigger) Anyone notice Snacky hasn't went home yet. Thank you neighborhood girl.
. my husband and kids still love me
. I now know that Ashley is very pretty
. my Dad calls me
. spongebob and bendaroos helped my sick boy today
. my neighborhood is pretty nice, and filled with homeowners and kids
. my husband's kid's seem to be doing well
. Tyler eats from the land in the summer.. Yummy peaches, apples and berries.
.my husband hasn't gotten a ride in the back of a van

2008 had it's bad points

. Shadow lost his eye. ( well not lost it.. we know where it went)
. my clients take turns not being well
. Bob (client) says he has to quit driving
.I discovered where Ashley lives--- so close but yet so far away
. my car makes a lot of noise
. my job forgot about pay raises
. Roger and Amy died, and the cats ate Tyler's gerbil Amy.. sshhhh we didn't tell him.
Tv advertises all kinds of stuff Tyler just has to have. Hello bendaroos

Some Christmas pictures some not

See my hungry kitty? I took a picture of a picture of one of the boys, as a baby.Can you tell me which one it is? Leave a comment, you have a 50/50 chance of being right.

Last night we went to the hotel for swimming, Tad got us in for free, because he delivers free pizza to them. We had a good time, but Tad got jealous when some guys followed me into the hot tub to talk to me. I would much rather have the hot tub at the Ymca, but he can't come in there.
Then we cooked some yummy cheeseburgers, and watched Firestarter, the end of the movie was just awesome!!
I have to go to work, and I don't want to go. I would rather watch more movies, or play with my puppy dog. Well got to run.

Christmas is past on by

Christmas wasn't as exciting as most years. I was bummed out by the thought that I had to work Christmas morning, because the kids and I Dad's divorced, I am used to not having them the whole holiday. I am not used to having to run out so early.

I picked Will up for Christmas Eve, we planned on doing most our Christmas stuff on the eve, because I had to work. We didn't do the presents on Christmas eve, because that goes against all the past years.

We made a Christmas tree cake, and just mostly hung out. I wasn't feeling the best. Will wanted to go to Kmart to buy Tyler a present, because didn't have any money. I think he is old enough to buy gifts for his brother with his own money. He gets money here and there. So he has to pay me back. While we were shopping, I bought a frame to hang a picture of Ashley on the wall. For those who don't know me. Ashley is my daughter, but not my family. She is biologically a sister to my boys, but just a name and a face to them right now. We added her picture to the wall of kids. She is the oldest by birth of my three kids, but Will is the oldest of my parented kids. I feel that not displaying her picture is just adding to keeping everything in the silence. I don't think I have to be ashamed of her, or should other adoptee's be kept in hiding.

We had a pretty good Christmas Eve dinner, if you don't mind burned ham and gooey mashed potatoes. It was still good though. The most important thing is that we had our family. It was just the four us, and our two dogs, four cats, our bunny and gerbil.
My Dad and his wife came by for a visit, and brought the kids a couple of presents. Tad's mom sent both kids a little gift. Will got a McDonald's gift card, and Tyler got a little stuffed mail man.



Christmas morning we opened presents. Tad and I didn't give each other gifts. I think that's most for kids. Santa brought Will a skateboard kit, where he can build two real skateboards. Tyler got a really cool art supply set with a nice wooden case. I bought them several other things. I love to buy my kids Christmas presents. I don't spend money on them for extra's stuff too much.
I was a little upset, because I had to run out, for work, so soon.
Here is a little video of one of the presents I got Tyler. I will let you know if they work as they say do.

The picture of Tyler on the exersice equipment is from our basement, we are working on making it a cool place to hang. Right now it's dark and boring.

Check out Tyler posing in front of our tree, we decorated it Friday night. Look at the cool chair we brought home for the cats. Are you jealous? You should be. They are just too cute.

Enough snow already

I am tired of snow!!! Friday I shoveled our driveway. I think it's a mans job, but my man just sat on his butt, till it was time to go to work. So to prove a point, I shoveled out the driveway. My arms, back, butt, and back is sore. I have a better appreciation for shoveling. I still say it's a man's job.

Tad dragged us to a Catholic church, talk about boring. Then he treated us to dinner, and then I took the kids to Walmart and to see the Christmas lights. They had a few live reindeer.

The verdict is in on what my job is going to arrange, so I can have Christmas morning with my family. I don't have to come in till 10 am, instead of 9am. I should just get down on my knees and kiss their ass! I am so grateful to them, all I asked for was to only work 20 hours out of the 24 hour shift, and they give me one hour off. I hope they won't be needing me for anything special soon. Well I am going to much on some Oreo cookies with milk,and get comfty, and go to sleep.

Hey all... Christmas is around the corner, but I haven't been in the mood for it. We don't have a tree up yet, because I want to do it, when Will is here. That is this weekend, so we will get it up then. I always feel like I should be doing Christmasy stuff, like decorating or baking cookies. I want to bake Christmas cookies, but when I see the recipe and the decorations, I say Fuck that!! It looks like too much work. We haven't seen the Christmas lights, but they have with Bill. So maybe it's the blah blah of why bother, they already been there, they already put up a tree.
My little Sister took Tyler shopping for Christmas for me, and said that Tyler wanted to buy his Dad mouse traps. hahahahah I probably shouldn't laugh. He needs a cat. I have one or two that I should offer up, but I won't.
Tyler received a letter from Santa in the mail. His eyes got all bright. Santa is one nice guy. Then it fell from where I put it, and when I found it. It had been chewed up a little bit by the rabbit. So Tyler's Santa letter got partly ate by a rabbit.
My clients are okay, but their health is failing. Sandy* hasn't been well and sleeps about 75% of the 24 hours. Bob* has been well, but depressed. Right when it's close to bedtime, Sandy wakes up and is ready to party. I most likely have to work the full shift on Christmas. Maybe that's why I am not much in the holiday spirit. They are working on trying to get 4 hours covered, so I can have Christmas morning with my family. Every night when Bob kisses and hugs me goodnight,he tells me to take care of myself. I feel like every night, he is saying his goodbyes. Sometimes it makes me want to cry, because Damn it don't die, and don't do it on my shift.
I picked Will up and we went to the Ymca. We worked out a little together, and he does his own thing. I soaked in the hot tub for about 10 minutes. I learned if you stay too long, you get this urge to puke!!! Then we went and played around in the activity center. Will and I did dance dance revolution. It's a little goofy, but if you don't like it, don't look.
I checked my grades online and guess what I got A's in both classes!!! I knew I did well, but wasn't expecting both classes to be A's. Damn I am good!!! I am break from school, but I am working on improving a paper that I wrote in class. I am thinking of posting it on here, but it's kind of personal. I am kind of at the point in my life that I am going to be me, and if being me bothers anyone. I really don't know what to tell you.

I believe in Father Christmas

We bought a new camera!!

Ann and me

Happy Birthday Tammy

Meet Zoey

There is a new baby in our house. She is really cute, and no you can't have my dolly.

This is a picture of my dog and my sister's dog when I took both of them for a walk. We had my kitten following us. It was so cute.

I went to school for my final. When I was finished, my teacher handed me my portfolio back. It's worth 40% of my grade. I got a 95%!!!!!!!! I knew I did well on the portfolio, but wasn't expecting an A. I am not sure how I did on my final. I don't think it was my best work. I didn't get enough sleep, because my client had a bad night. She has dementia and you never know to take her serious or not. This morning, she was talking about guys who are drinking too much whiskey, and they might be dead. She had me looking for them. I really didn't go looking for them, but I told her I would. All I wanted to do was sleep.
I can't wait to see my final grade. My English class was a pleasurable experience. My teacher was pretty cute too!! I am lucky that I can say that and my husband doesn't get all upset. I can look, but can't touch. Unless of course it's a police officer or a fireman then all bets are off. I bet you guys are thinking dirty. All I want is a hug!!!

Today is the day

My final is today. I am starting to get nervous. I didn't get enough sleep last night. My client had a bad night. When she can't or won't sleep no one gets any sleep. I am confidant that I am prepared, but what if I just blow it.

On Mondays, I have to mail my time sheets into work. There is mail there from Saturday. It's a box. It's a gift for our household. It was just what I wanted, how did they know. It was a box of tampons and other female products. How did they know that it was number one on my list. haha. Sometimes Tyler gets the mail, I can see this now. "Mommy Mommy, I got a present, and he would open it, and inside tampons. He is going to be one confused kid, and mad at Santa!!!!

looking back and forward

About 16 weeks ago, I started college at Rock Valley College. I hadn't been to school since 1995. I didn't know what to expect. I was nervous, excited, and scared. I added school to my already busy life of work, family, and my fun stuff I like to do. I only took on two classes. That is English 99 and Std 100. No I wasn't learning about sexually transmitted diseases. It was a class to prepare you to be a college student. I was a little worried if I need a class to prepare me shouldn't I just take it. How am I going to swing it till they prepare me. After the first few weeks, I learned that a lot of what to prepare me was what I already learned as a adult. That class only met once a week, but I am glad that it was there for me.

My main class was my English 99 class. We met three times a week. It was a great experience. It was a mixture of young and old students. I am only 32 years old, and I am old in the eyes of students fresh out of high school. It's amazing how time flies by. Where did the carefree days of being young go? They went away a long time ago. I had a great teacher, and he wasn't bad to look at. He was funny to be around too, but most importantly he made class worth while showing up. He was very helpful, and helped make my first college experience a positive one. He was a little bit off the wall in the way he talked sometimes, but that is what I liked about him.

We wrote a few papers on critical thinking. They really got your mind working. You had to explain what the writer meant,agree or disagree, and relate it to your own life. Sometimes relating it to your own life could be hard. Either because you can't relate, or do you really want to speak the truth of how it relates to your own life. It helped that it wasn't like grade school, and your parents were reading your paper. Or the teacher read it to the class.

Part of our course study was to read the book called, There are no children here. It was the story of two boys growing up in the other America by Alex Kotlowitz. It was a very good book, but I admit that I probably wouldn't have read it on my own. It's a true story of the childhood that the children in the book didn't get to have. The children seen too many hardships to be called children. I could sell it back to the school, but I think I prefer to keep it as a reminder of my first semester at school.

Today our portfolio of our three major papers was due. Yesterday I thought I was all ready, but decided to give all three papers one more look. I found mistakes on two of the three. One mistakes was a big goof. I misspelled the author name. That wouldn't have been cool. So I fixed the mistakes on my paper, and saved the papers again on my flash drive.Then I had to reprint the papers. Then I printed a couple pictures of my kids, my house, and my rose bush. We want a happy teacher when he is grading our papers.

On next Wednesday, we have to take a final exam. It will be the same critical thinking. We will get to choose between three quotes, and will have to explain it, agree or disagree, and relate it to life. The big difference is that we only have two hours to do this in. There won't be papers sitting in our folder, and looking it over and over. We get two hours. Our teacher will be able to help, but mostly we are on our own. It should all work out just fine.

I am not sure if I am going to continue in college. I have to work full time. I have to be a Mom, and a wife. I am a little frustrated. I don't know if I can keep my balance act. Sometimes I am falling off the horse. I can't be it all. I can't spend all my time taking care of everyone else. I can't be the major bread winner, and the only one who cares if the bills are paid or not. I want to get a degree in something, but in what? I really don't know. So if I don't know what degree I want, what classes do I take? I can't be a full time student, because I have to work. My job right now is taking care of Bob* and Sandy*, and I am not sure if it can get any better than them. They are great. The caregivers are brought in, and treated like family. Their home is my home. I can clutter my side of the table with my school work or my scrap book kit, and that is okay with them. We can put on our Pj's and read a book. We get to watch movies. Sandy's mind isn't as bright as it once was. When she wants something you better jump. You can't win a argument with her. She gets very angry. I was hit by her the other day, but later on she was sweet as pie. It's not her fault. It's the disease that is robbing her of her brain. So not only do I forgive her, but I love her and her husband. Who knows how much longer they will live. Do I make my class hours around them. Can I assume they will be living next month? After they are gone, I am not sure where my next step in life will be. Any job other than working for Bob and Sandy is going to suck. There are days that I feel so loved by them that I want to cry. How much longer can I work around people, just wondering when they are going to take their last breath. It would be much easier to accept losing them if I didn't love them. However, to experience love you have to open yourself up for the grief.

Bob* says for me to get my education, and always talks about how he is afraid for our future. He says his generation, and the generation before him left this country in very bad shape. He loves to talk, but his wife isn't much for talking. Sometimes we get told to shut up. haha. Got to love her. He has this way of saying it's just unbelievable. I guess for him all of stuff is unbelievable. He grew up in a time where you could buy a new car a car for less than 2 grand, or big house for less than 20 grand. Where your parents paid for your education, and then he paid for his kids education. Then he turned around and paid for all of his kids education. Where did those days go? I don't know. As Bob* would say it's unbelievable, it's just unbelievable. So where do I go from here? I don't know. What I do know is this. I have this crazy cat,Precious, who likes to sleep with me. Tad calls her Ms. B for Bitch haha. Not only does she like to sleep with me, but she sleeps on my hips, on my back, on my stomach, and worse yet on my pillow. Not just a small part of my pillow, she stretches out. When my husband and I toss and turn and fight over the covers, you have this cat getting pulled back and forth. She just doesn't care, and you know why? Because she is Ms. B!!! She can do that!!!!Do you know why she can do that? She learned from me. I am Ms. B's Mom after all. Don't hate the cat, because she is beautiful. Everyone this last paragraph has not been a unified paragraph. I can do that, because Ms. B is my cat!!!!

I am working on a really long post to reflect on the present, past, and future, but for now. Have a little fun.

Bitching

There is this cool place called 5 coins that has all you can eat chicken on Thursdays. I ask to have my downtime covered so, I can take my family to chicken. Tyler loves chicken!!!! It will make his week. My works calls me to tell me that a coworker and me need to switch days, because of overtime reason. There are three of us that care for this couple. Two of us work 3 days a week, 24 hour shifts. The other caregiver works one 24 hour shift, and has other clients else where.
So for me to have four hours with my family to pig out on chicken, the two caregivers who work the three days have to switch days. So that should be easy right. Well when you start switching days that means both of us working a double. That would 48 hours at my clients home. I was pissed.
All I want is four fucking hours, and can't have it, because they will have to pay more than normal. What about all the money they made for me working Thanksgiving. My clients paid probably about 500, and I get less than half. I am a good employee. I take very good care of my clients, and I don't miss work. I don't take my weeks vacation, and I am being told I can't have the downtime. I have to work a double. So instead of having a little bit of treatment of less work, and chicken. I have to spend 48 hours in a roll there. Sorry family see you in two days, but you will get chicken. Can you tell I am pissed. I told her forget about it, and then said. "when I can't have four hours off, then we got a problem" In other words keep your employee happy, or find a new one. Also since I am bitching. Where is my fucking raise, it's over a year late!!!!!! Use my raise money that you didn't pay me to pay the other girl. Okay I feel a little better now.

What makes me happy

My cute kitty that reminds me of Tigger
My children, all five of them
My cute bunny
My big puppy Ann, and little Shadow
My clients
The way Tyler waits for me at the driveway for his toll money
The way Will Dances
Working on my scrapbook to give to Ashley for when/if I meet her
Knowing that Ashley looks a lot like me.
Christmas music
That my Dad comes over for no reason
That my Dad calls for no reason
That my Mom is alive and well
That I have two sisters, and a brother
My early childhood memories
The way my husband looks at me
Working out at the Ymca
Sitting in the hot tub at the Ymca
Swimming at the Ymca
My teacher is cute and funny
I have a home, and it's mine!!!!
Tigger lived long enough to be buried in our yard
My memories of Tigger stealing chicken nuggets from the kids
My memories of Tyler chasing her for them back. haha
A pretty snowy day, like today
That my husband has a good relationship with his kids
That my husband braids my hair.... anyone jealous?
Well those are a lot of things that make me happy. They aren't in any certain order. There are things that make me sad, but not going there right now.

Free Counter

We had a pretty good day. Tad, my sister, my boys, and myself went to pizza hut for lunch. Then we just kind of hung out at home. No fights so that was cool. Then before I took the kids to their Dad's, we went to the YMCA. We played a little air hockey, a little pig pong, the kids played on the wii, and I played a few rounds on the dance dance revolution. Tyler played a game of fooseball with another little boy.
Next week Will will be getting a orientation of the YMCA machines. So he will be able to use the weights and treadmills and stuff. The Y is a great place to work out, get out of the cold, do a few different things then being stuck at home.

Martin and me

Here is a picture of Martin and myself. He is pretty old, and doesn't do much anymore. Sometimes he still plays with the young cats,but mostly just sleeps and demands his meals. I am happy that we still have him. He must be about 18 years old.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving where ever you are. Love you all.

There isn't too much going around here. We are having a small Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, because I have to work the holiday. I would rather be home, but it's really good money. Also we are going out to the club for dinner. I can't beat double pay, and I get to eat.
I screwed up and didn't register for classes. I am overwhelmed, and not sure of where my next step in life is. I am thinking a degree in social services, but it's going to take me years, because I have to work full time to support this household, and I am still always broke.
I just paid my first full monthly payment to the Ymca. So far it's worth it. Tyler and I have been going about twice a week. I would go more if I had a normal job. It really makes keeps me from getting too down. That and not looking in the mail box helps too.
I miss my at&t phone. It had a great camera, and I could send pictures to this blog from anywhere I was. My new phone has a camera, but it's not as good. Plus there is extra steps in posting pictures here. My bunny is growing so fast. Ann is still getting her walks even though it's cold outside.
Well I got to get going for work. Bye all.

About a year and half ago, I started working for Bob and Sandy. They were 96 years of age. They now are 97. Sandy will be 98 in Febuary, and Bob will be 98 in June. I didn't expect such a long run with them. They are like that engizer bunny that keeps going and going and going. They are strong. They may think that they are lucky that they have me, but the joke is on them. I am the lucky one. A job doesn't get much better than this. Well it's time for me to go to sleep now. Bye all.

Married with children.. my thoughts on my split family

I married my first husband young. We were only 18 and 19 years of age. I loved him, but mostly I was just seeking attention, and wanted to move out of my Mom's house. We quickly fell into a pattern of not really talking to each other. He worked one shift and I worked the other shift. We didn't rely on a babysitter too much. My mother n law liked to have the kids on Saturday nights and, we would drive them to church, and back. Then we would all have lunch and spend part of the day with her. We didn't have cable mostly, and my husband would catch up on TV shows that his Mom would tape for her. By march of 2000, we had our second son, Tyler. My husband only wanted one child, but I pushed for a second at least. So on March 16Th, 2000, Tyler was born.

Tyler was special needs, and needed a lot of extra help. That all fell on my shoulders. My husband worked more hours than me, and I worked the evening shift, and most therapy's are in the day. Tyler has come a long way. My husband and I, made mistakes that make the bond of marriage even more strained. We became two people, who lived together and had kids together. We didn't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff. We didn't fight much, because I just let stuff happen. Just because we weren't fighting, didn't mean we were happy.

In the summer of 2006, my husband moved out, and neither of us looked back. We didn't try to save the marriage. It had been over with for a long time. Because I was already in a relationship with Tad, he moved in pretty fast. It wasn't the right thing to do, but Tad was being kicked from his place, and needed a place to stay and could help pay bills.

Tad and I married Oct 24 of last year. I love him very much. He became the person who would watch the kids while I work. That worked while we were renting, but not after we got the house. So he had to work.

William didn't take to us buying the house and getting married. It was another reminder that I am not married to his Dad. He started acting out and not listening and being hard to deal with. In January, I agreed he could go live with his Dad. I thought that would fix things, but in a sense it's made things worse. Tad can be a fun guy. He likes to do crazy stuff, like exploring areas like the old drive in theater, the big water hole, lighting of fireworks. All that fun stuff that I don't have the urge to do. Tad isn't like his Dad. They are very different. His Dad likes wrestling, darts, going to church. Dad likes to go to things, like the waterfront, Great America, and live wrestling events. Tad would much prefer to stay away from all that. Tad is a more involved Dad. His kids can talk to him about stuff, and Dad is more likely to not talk. You might have to pull his teeth. He is a very quiet and maybe even a little anti social, unless you can talk about something, he really likes. Dad treats Will better than Tyler. He doesn't pay much attention to him. He doesn't really call him. He sees him every other weekend, and that's about it. Tad and Dad are very different, but that doesn't make Dad any less of a important person in my kids lives.

Tad treats Will and Tyler very different. Tyler he has accepted almost as his own. He is very good with him. He helps him do homework, cooks him dinner, sees that he has clean clothes, and goes to lunch at his school. He finds babysitters for Tyler while he works. (we can't find a daycare that will accept him as part-time, without full time pay) He brings him little presents, like cool rocks.
He treats Will pretty badly. If Will talks about something that they like, that is stupid. If Will says they have a computer or cable, Tad says no you don't. If Will says, him and his Dad do stuff, he says no you don't. If Will says his house is clean, Tad says no it isn't. Now I seen Bill's and Will's place. It wasn't clean,but I still don't see the need to constant talking down to Will. Now he is a teenager, and doesn't really accept Tad in his life. I will admit Will can act like a jerk. Instead of talking to him, like a adult,Tad talks to him like he is a teenager. He is poking him and trying to fight with him. I don't mean fight personally, just pushes him on.
He is always hearing Tad trash talk his Dad, and wants respect from Will. I know Will might not always be telling the truth about what goes on at their place, but is it really worth fighting over. Do we care if they have a computer? Or if they have cable? Or that they like video games? Aren't we fighting over stupid crap? Do I have a adult and a teenager both fighting like teenagers? Yes I do.
He also does this with Tyler around. How long before Tyler turns on Tad, because he doesn't like hearing his Dad being trashed. This isn't always said to Tyler, but he can hear. Even if what he says about their Dad is true, they don't need to hear it over and over. They will learn that their Dad isn't perfect on their own, but then again who is. Is it wrong if Will isn't like Tad? No. Is it wrong if Will is like Dad? It's okay with me if he has Dad's same interest. But I think Tad sees a mini Dad in Will, so he can't get past the Dad in Will. He has bad feelings for my ex, and carries them over in the child.
Yesterday was Will's birthday. I came up with this idea at the last minute to throw him a pizza party at our house. I was talking a couple friends from where he lives. We have never met them. I have heard of them, but never met them. Tad wasn't going to allow it. He didn't want people he don't know here. So I took Will, his friend, and Tyler out to Golden Coral. We had a nice dinner. Tad brought a cake for us to have. It turned out okay, but I was still upset on how he treated my idea.
Going back to Tyler's birthday party. He invited his ex wife at the last minute, and I didn't have a chance to say okay or not. She brings her boyfriend, who we never met. He had dinner with us too. It was okay. Tad never said a thing about her bringing someone we don't know.
Going back to when my sister moved in. This girl we don't know helped her move in. He didn't say anything about that. She has been back a couple times, and I still don't really know her. It don't bother me and don't bother Tad. So we are talking about having a early Thanksgiving Dinner, and he tells my sister, she can bring a friend. He didn't tell her that we have to know them first. How come everyone can bring someone they don't know, but when it comes to my son, I can't do that. It's a bunch of bull shit. We have had plenty of kids in our house that we didn't know until we started talking to them. Tad says that Dad should help pay for Will's birthday celebration. Now I wanted to do something for his birthday, he is my kid after all. Dad is taking him somewhere Sunday for his Birthday. Should I send money? No.
When it comes to Tyler, Tad doesn't ever say that Dad should pay for half. Dad doesn't ask money of me, and I don't ask of it from him.
Tad and his first wife stayed married until after the kids were grown, so we don't have to deal with step kids coming, and spending the night. I never had to be a authority figure, and tell them to do their homework, to go to bed, no you can't use the computer, to go outside and play. I didn't have to tell them to clean up their rooms or who they could and couldn't hang with. Did they have a better life, because their parents stayed together? I don't know. I have heard some horror stories, they had to deal with, but they aren't my stories to tell. Maybe the hard part in divorce isn't the divorce, but the remarriage of new people. Should I start throwing the horror stories in their face? No way!! I would never do that. That wouldn't be right to them. They know what they went through as kids, and came out pretty good, and love both their parents. It's not my place to trash the other parent. Maybe I am trashing their Dad, but this has nothing to do with how he raised them. This has to do with what kind of example he is providing for my children. All I want is the same. Give me the same respect that his kids get from me. Lastly for everyone in a split family. Remember if you are drowning. I am going to save my kid. I can get another husband. I can't get another Will or Tyler.

Happy Birthday to Will

At Rock Valley, it's been multicultural week. My std 100 class, we had to bring something that was related to cultural, and our upbringing. I thought about bringing a cd of love that old time Rock n Roll. I remember my Mom dancing to that music, but instead I brought my cabbage patch doll. There came out when My sister and I were growing up. It was so cool to have one. They were the toy you just had to have. It's weird how you spend so many holidays with your parents, and very little gifts stand out. Not that we didn't get gifts, but just don't remember them all. My last baby doll was called baby talk, and my mom said, I was too old for a doll, but I didn't listen. Well the advertising jipped me. The darn doll couldn't carry a conversation lol. Then some cousins of mine destroyed the doll. I put a doll on layaway at this really cool doll shop. I should have her in a few weeks. I will never be too old for a doll. Just don't really need one that will talk. lol. Well back on the multicultural week. Monday, they had corn beef, cabbage, and little red potatoes. Today they had the Mexican food. I wonder what they will have on Friday. They are having food every day, but I only go to school on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Today I walked my Ann and my sister's dog, and my cat. My kitty cat followed us for the whole walk. Before dinner, Tyler and I went to the YMCA. I walked around on the track and then sat in the hot tub. I been going there two times a week. So far I can justify spending the money, but don't know if I can afford to keep it. I made chicken noodle soup for dinner. Tad is going to have to make my potato soup now. Well it's Tj's bedtime. Bye all.

William

I notice that I really don't post much about Will. It's not because, I don't love him. He lives with his Dad now, and Will is at that age, where there is a lot of fighting. I may discuss what's going on with my sister, Tammy, but I refuse to post his issues for everybody to see.
Will is going to be 14 years old, on Nov 21st. Kids grow fast. I think about the age of 12 so, a alien comes in and steals your child, and leaves you with the creature from outer space. Then they are up above and laughing their ass off. I am not sure what point your real kids return.
I am not sure what I am doing for his Birthday. I am not much into Birthday celebrations. We weren't really raised to make a big deal out of them. Maybe take him to dinner or something. Maybe go to a movie or go bowling. I am sure we will make him a yummy cake. Any ideas?

I was renting a computer for school, and it was costing us a fortune. My step daughter told us about this cool place named Homeplace, and they sell you items on a payment plan. I now have a new laptop and plus I got a set of bunk beds for the kids. My payment is the same as it was when I just was renting the laptop. Tyler doesn't know about his new beds yet. They are delivering them today. I wish I would be here when he sees them. Well I got to get Tyler to the bus, and help Tad get rid of his old bed. Then I am off to work. Bye all.

my weekend

I had a pretty good weekend. After Tyler got home, we went to the Ymca for swimming. I had to pull his arm for him to want to go. He wanted to play with his friend, but I wanted to do something fun with him. He is getting at the age where friends are beginning to be cooler than his Mom. So we went swimming for a hour, and then he played blowing on a wii machine with this little girl. Then him and I played a game of air hockey. He beat me by one point. We had a good time. Then I drove him to his Dad's for the weekend.
Friday night, Tad and I had fish at Sam's restaurant. It was really good. After that we just hung out at home with our crew of animals. It's impossible to sleep in because, all the animals get this surge of energy in the morning, and the garbage is their playground.
Saturday afternoon, I went to the Y again. I took my homework and my laptop. I did a little homework in the locker room. That sounds goofy, but it's a room with tables, in the locker room, and it's a good place to have it quiet. After the school work, I exercised for 35 minutes, and watched part of a movie. It's almost worth staying on longer to watch the TV. You would think I don't have a TV at home. I really do though. Then I went to soak in the hot tub. I really love that. It makes paying for the Ymca really worth it. Tyler and I go about twice a week. If I don't go. I can't justify spending the money, because I really can't afford it. I also have exercise equipment in the dark basement, but I haven't really been using it. I like getting out and being around people, watching movies, and don't forget the hot tub. So I will pay for it, as long as I can afford it, and I make the effort to go.
Oh also lastly, I got kicked from a website because, they didn't like what I had to say. I feel like such a trouble maker. haha. I have never been kicked from anywhere, because I am a good girl.
I forgot to mention that I made my husband a really good dinner last night. I am trying to butter him up, so he will make me my favorite soup. Tomorrow I am making him chicken noodle to add to his guilt. bye all

It's Friday!!!! I don't have work for 2 days. I love the weekends. I am going to have a early lunch with my friend, Rachel, and then go to class. Then I get to hang out with my husband and all my pets. Well I have to get ready to leave one home to go to another. I have two homes. That has it's good points and bad points, but I have love at both homes, so it's pretty good. Bye all.

I blew off registering for the Spring classes. I am sure I can still get into a English 101 class, but who knows what other classes I should take. The problem is that I don't know what I am chasing. I don't seeing how I can fit in a two year degree, with working full time, and being a Mom. I don't think I am the type of person who can only take a class or two a semester and remember what I been taught to get the degree. Not working isn't a option, and either is working less hours.
College is okay so far. My English teacher is really cute!!! Only four weeks of his teaching. Boy am I going to miss him. Maybe some of the other teachers are cute. haha

This is a picture of my new bunny. Not a very good picture though. Vote for her name.
Looks like the selling the parent vote was about 2 cents lol. Now I am afraid. What are some of the fast ones that you pulled with your parents. It's time to confess. I skipped most of the 7th grade year, and when the machine would call. I would just get the phone first, that's if my parents were home. I did the same thing in 8th grade, and no one knew or bothered to do anything until I was taken to court. I was busted!!!! Now tell me your secrets and vote for a bunny name.

I came home from school yesterday to find no one home. On Monday's Tyler tends to meet me at the drive way to get a toll for me to get in the driveway. I usually give him anything from .50 to a dollar or so. I called and they wouldn't tell me where they were.
So I am just sitting home, and I am feeling pretty sick from my allergies or cold, and then they come in. Tad was wearing his jacket and told me to reach in his coat. So I reached and there was something fuzzy and warm in his coat. It was a baby girl bunny. I have never had a baby bunny before. All my other one came to me as grown ups. All the other animals are trying to check her out. We want to try and make this one be able to roam the house more.
We haven't name her yet. I will post a picture and do a poll on a few suggestions and you all can vote for the best name. I still miss Roger and sad that he died. It's weird how fast death happens. A few hours before he died, he was eating baby food for me, and I had plans to take him to work, so I could continue to help him recover. My husband is so sweet to think of me and try to make me feel better. I will sell bunny kisses to you for 5 bucks!!!! Of course Tyler is sweet too! He was so excited to bring me home a new baby. Well I got to finish getting ready for work, and walk Ann. burrrrrr it's cold.

Goodbye Roger Rest in peace

I took Roger to the vet this morning and he got a injection of antibiotic and a infection of fluids for a upper respiratory infection. He passed away, in my arms about 7 pm tonight. I tried to save him. I was giving him water, and baby food, since that was their advice. This really sucks. Where is my pill or drug, because this really sucks.

My bunny

My Bunny Rabbit, Roger isn't feeling well. It looked like maybe he had a stroke, and there's not much that can be done. Tonight I tried to give him water, and it looks like maybe his teeth are overgrown. I really can't afford expensive tests, but if the vet thinks that the reason for him not eating is his teeth that should be affordable. I spooned fed him water, so maybe if I keep doing that he will make it till the morning. This really sucks!!!

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This is a picture of a picture of my Pepa. He is my grandfather on my Dad's side. He has been dead for quite a while now. I gave this picture to my Dad and other family members, but lost my copy of it. My sister was nice enough to make me a couple prints of it. This is him by his favorite car. He is the only grandparent that I really have memories of. Rest in peace Pepa. Love you!!!!

2 years

This month marks my two year anniversary as a caregiver for the elderly. I have been with the same clients for about a year and half. In the last year and half on a occasion I have went to another clients home, but mostly I just do my live-in shifts with who I call Bob and Sandy. They are both doing well for their age. They are pushing 98 years of age. They just voted in what I would think is going to be their last presidental election. They lived long enough to see a black voted into office. What a life!! I have seen a lot of clients die. Not personally, but one day they are my client, and the next day they are dead. It kind of sucks.
A lot has happened in the last two years. 2 years ago this month, I was in the final process of my divorce from my first husband. I bought a house and a new/used car. None of that could I have done if my new husband wasn't helping me. Also I got married to my new husband. I now have two step kids. I don't know what role a step parent really does. In the movies, she is the bitch, and the step kids would be cleaning the floor over and over. lol. I think that only happens on Cinderella. The step kids get treated bad and the "real" kids to the Mom can do no wrong. My step kids have never lived with me so it's not any one's fault that their really isn't a step parent/step kid relationship.It's not that I don't care for them. They are great. I grew up in a split home and they aren't really missing anything. That may sound cruel for Tad, but I was a teenager, and it wasn't fun. They live in a split home and my husband is a Step Dad. He is helping raising them and has the role of a parent. Even Will and Tyler have the different relationship with the same step parent. Tyler is more accepting, because he is young. Will on the other hand, is a teenager and hasn't been as a accepting. The rules are different and Dad, and Tad are very different. Also maybe teenagers feel as if they accept the new role, then they are accepting of their parents split. It don't help if "Dad" doesn't like "Tad" , Because now if we like Tad, we are betraying Dad.
Also lately my mind is on overdrive. Is their a pill or a drug to cure it? I am struggling with my feelings of grief and sorrow over missing out on being a mother to the daughter, I was forced to place for adoption. I can't get better, because I can't accept that it was the right thing to do. I was grown enough to take care of my brother and sister, and I don't mean the once in a great while thing. I mean I remember a summer where my break from them was going for a salad and a drink to get away from them. Mom was gone that much. I mean getting left with food stamps and buying junk food, because their wasn't a parent around to take care of us. I was the parent. Ashley will be coming of age next year and I suppose that has sent me into a panic. Well the rest is for my other blog. Also this year Will has went to go live with his Dad. He thinks the grass is greener on the other side. His Dad thought Will's bad grades were do to my parenting and the school. Well Will still has bad grades. I guess he needs a kick in the ass!! It didn't work buddy.
In the past two years we have lost Tigger, Little Dogi, Silver moved to the neighbors. We have added Ann, Sammy, Marty, and Snacky, but I prefer calling him Tiger. Also my sister and three pets for a while. Oh and I forgot we added two gerbils named Amy and Fuzzy. We have a lot of black animals, such as three cats, three dogs and Fuzzy.
Also Tyler and Will started new schools. For privacy reasons I won't put that down. Will is a 8th grader and Tyler is a 3rd grader. Will is your typical know it all teenager and Tyler is sweet and innocent. He does no wrong!! hahaha We live in a neighborhood full of girls. There are some cute,pretty little girls and Tyler is their friend. I wonder if one of them will be his first crush. Well this is long enough and I am going to go have lunch with Tyler. He still loves his Mommy to come to the school. Bye all

We had a great Halloween!! I am still learning how to post pictures with the new phone so no pictures right now. Tyler was Superman and Ann was batman!!! We all had a great time. Tyler was more interested in coming home and passing out candy. When we ran out. He started giving some of his own candy away. I thought it was so sweet of him. Will tricked or treated with some friends. I think he is a little old for that, but he lives with his Dad now so that's up to him. It's not a issue worth fighting over. Well not much going on here. Bye all.

The real me

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I had to clean out all the pictures in my at&t phone, because I have a new phone with a new plan, and also a new number. This was from camp last summer. The new phone has a better plan, but the pictures aren't as good. See this one is at&t and some of the other ones on her on the new company. I guess I can't have it all. Well off to class.

Ymca

I have been feeling pretty stressed lately. Sometimes my mind is going faster than I like. I have too much going on around me, and I get worked up over issues that bother me. Today, I went to the YMCA, and worked out for about 30 minutes, and then sat in the hot tub. It was great. I just loved it. The best way I can describe it is to getting drunk. Not just any kind of drunk. Now I am not a big drinker. I like to drink Arbor mist, and can drink the whole bottle in a night. That however is like drinking kool-aid. The kind of drunk I am referring to is the kind where you just feel so damn good, but your not sick. It's not easy to find that feeling from more than just a buzz, and being smashed, but not to the point where your going to be sick. I don't get that feeling very often, because the sick feeling scares me away. So most of the time, I am happy with my arbor mist or one or two hard drinks. What I am getting at that this hot tub, with the jets running was out of this world. It made me feel so good, and helped keep my spirts up today.
Afterwards Tyler, and I went to the store, and I was feeling good, and happy to please Tyler's wishes. The boy got a box of little debbies, and some chocolate milk. Yummy for his tummy. I bought Tad a corn beef. He loves that, and I think it's pretty darn good myself.
So I am driving home, and I feel great. Then Tyler says, "Mom how come I don't have a sister? " Is that the time to say, "Well Tyler, you do have a sister, but she was made to go away?" Even though I was grown up enough to babysit her brother and sister, and basically fend for herself. Mommy was lied to and treated like shit. Your sister's name is Ashley, and even though she is your sister, but you won't really know what it's like to have a sister, because she lives with other people. I didn't say all that. Tyler said, I should have had three babies. I think he already knows about her, because everyone else does. So I got to sit down, and explain to him, but I don't think driving is the right time. It's hard for me to comprhend it all. It sucks that kids got to deal with this. Opps I went off the subject of the ymca. We have three free guest passes to the YMCA, and if anyone wants to go and work out, or better yet sit in the hot tub. Let us know, and we will go.
I am close to crazy, but since I know it. I must not be crazy, because if your crazy you don't know it. bye all.

I am at school. I had to learn about the career services program at RVC, because I have to do a powerpoint presentation, and that is what I chose to do mine on. Why that one? Well because, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. We are past mid terms, and I am getting satisfactory grades. In a couple weeks, I will register for my second semester here. I guess I got to get to figuring life out. I just really want to be a Toy's R us kid!!!
My clients are doing well. Bob* has made a recovery. I am not saying he isn't tired. They both will tell you growing old isn't for sissy's. Just yesterday, I over heard him telling her. Remember how your son, Patrick* hated to talk to Sally* because all she talked about was bowel movements. He says well now, I understand. That is always a problem with us old people. lol I bet you just wanted to know if you get lucky enough to live to be old, your going to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Sandy* is doing well, except for her memory. Sometimes she forgets where we live, and other information. Or she will tell you stuff like, we made candy, and you know she didn't make candy. So you just go along with her, and hope when we get home, she doesn't ask for the candy. Well enough for now.
*'s mean fake names

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I am working on a scrap book. This is a drawing of the two story home, my parents owned, until the middle of the 4th grade year. I never knew what I had till it was gone. That was a home that I always knew would be there. Too much moving around after that. This house is gone, because a few years ago, it was tore down to build another walgreens. Like we needed another walgreens. I am not a artist, but I put a lot of work into it, and now I can add it to my book.

Our weekend

We had both kids this weekend, as we do every other weekend. We went out to Sam's for dinner, for fish. Tad is crazy about their fish. I like it too, and it beats cooking any day. But we go there too much. While at dinner, we called Jennifer and Gary to wish them a Happy Birthday. It was Will's idea. When we got home, as always, I didn't feel like moving.
We went to the mall. Will likes to look around at the mall. I don't like to do that. I love to go to the paint store there, but I agree to looking around once or twice a year.
Tyler got to jump on the trampoline.
Then we looked, and looked, and finally Will was done looking. He didn't find anything that was worth giving out his money for. If it had been my money, now that would be different. But that is a kid for you. Then we went to Kmart and bought Tyler a new coat, and some pj's for the winter coming up, and I lost my debit card. I thought maybe it fell through the crack on the dashboard.
Then we came home, and Tyler and I made cupcakes for my brother's Matt's birthday.
Then Tad and Will, and I played Rummy. Then it was time to rest up for work the next day. Boy this is hard work!!!

P.S. I am trying to learn how to post more than one picture to a post,but it's not working quite the way I want it to. Bye all

To my brother Matt for his Golden Birthday

Love you,

To Gary and Jennifer for their Golden Birthday

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Work and other stuff

I am at work for another 24 hour shift. I am so tired of doing these live-ins. I can't complain about the amount of work that I do there. It's no more work than if I was working a 8 to 12 hour shift taking care of the elderly. In a way it less, because they get used to you, and want you to sit down and watch that movie. The last one was October sky. I don't know why, but I felt like crying after it was over. It was such a good movie. I was trying to do my reading, but Bob* pressured me into watching the movie. I am spending hours on the internet, and can do school work, and talk on the phone. It's the perfect job, but I miss my family.
I don't have enough time on the days I am home to do what I feel I want or need to do. I only get 4 days a week with my family, and if you count the days Tyler is with Bill, and Will is with Bill that is even less. Then of course Tad has to work. School is getting to be more time consuming. I did get some postive feedback yesterday. But what I really want or need to do is
Go to the ymca and have fun with kids
Go to the ymca and work out
Walk Ann, and pay attention to all the other animals
Pay attention to my guy (opps Ann came first)
I want to get my head on streight
I need to do more cleaning around the house
I would love to visit with my family more
Also see and talk more to my friend, Rachel.
I want to help kids with homework, and play games
I want to not feel so broke. What am I working for? It seems like nothing.
I want a normal job where I have 7 days a week to spread out family time and all the other stuff, instead of just four days.
Last summer, I really thought at least one of my clients would die before the winter arrived. Well winter is almost here, and both are still kicking. Bob isn't doing too well, but as soon as I think he is a goner then he fights a little more and is a little stronger. There love for each other is fucking amazing. They just love each other so much, and kiss and hug like teenagers. I am not ready to walk away yet, but when one dies the other one will probably follow and then I can get a real job. I don't have a clue what I want to be when I grow up? Do I want to continue working around old people? Not sure. I can't make any real money, but if I got paid bonus for the hugs and kisses then the job would pay. Do I want to go into social services, and provide assistance to young pregnant girls so they can decide to parent or place for adoption. I don't know if I could keep my thoughts about adoption out of the process. So I might not last long if I work for a agency. If women don't place they don't make any money. The adoption agency's are today's black market baby snatching. Enough about that. I want to go home. The silence here or the loud TV is driving me crazy!
Most people would probably be jealous to have my job. You had to do what?? Watch a movie?? But don't forget, I got to push old people to do things like change their depends, take a shower, change depends. Not this old lady though, she changes them herself. I got to watch her mind slowly fall apart. Just a little while ago, she was talking about herself in the 3rd person. How weird. I got to watch his health fail. His talking about he can't hold on much longer. Him telling me how he has to either have a severe back ache, or live with a stomach ache. I get to watch him fight to keep his independence. He wants his son to take care some of the issues like, medications, and running him to the dr, that I can't do. But he doesn't want to lose that fight. He don't want to burden him. He is saying god dammit. I can do it! He did seem to give up driving! Are you still jealous? Because if you are. I can give ya my job, but you can give me your paycheck!!!!! hahahahahaha It's not gonna get ya very far so ya might as well give it to me. I know I just rambled on and one, and I don't care for the moment about comma places lol. Bye all.

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My husband picked this rose from our rose bush. It came from the first bush he bought. It was nothing but a stick when I planted it in the grouid. The bugs ate them in the late summer, but they are coming out now. I guess a last little bit of color, before old man winter shows his face.

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Tad and I went to the hotel down the street, and used the pool and hot tub for a fee. It was great. I love soaking in the hot water. We had the pool almost to ourselves. It was a nice way to end the weekend. I thought about going to the YMCA, and using their hot tub, but I wanted my guy with me. Next week we celebrate our first wedding anniversary. Time sure does fly when your having fun.

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Tyler and Ann

Picture of rose bush returning to life

I know how to do this!!! hahha

Annie

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ymca

We joined the Ymca a week ago. Tyler and I went there today. We were going to swim,but the pool hours are real crappy for kids during the school year. Tyler played in the adventure center in 7up care. It's totally free while the parents work out. I walked on the treadmill and then I ran into a old friend. After I talked to her, and checked on Tyler. I walked on the walking track for a few laps. I was amazed at the new equipment. I didn't use one of the new ones though. You could literly watch tv while you worked out. I could see one lady was watching, Rachel Ray, while on the treadmill. I was thinking how can you watch about food. Wouldn't that make ya hungry? Guess Ymca keeps ya as a member, because you get real hungry lol.
I love the ymca, but it is a little expensive, and it becomes a issue of time sometimes. I loved going there when I didn't have a job. It was my job.
They even got a whirlpool, and alot of stuff they used to charge extra for now is free. Well not free, but included in the price. Bye for now.

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These pictures are from Rock Valley College. They look a lot better in person. You can really see the coloring of the leaves changing. I can't believe I am at mid terms already. I had a test in my std class. (a class to prepare you for college) I only go there on Mondays. My english 99 class meets three times a week. It's been a challenge, but it's going ok. I find it interesting to be around so many young kids. By kids I mean 18 year olds. I had to write two papers for that class. Plus reading a book called, There are no children here. It's a book about two boys who grew up in the other America. It's a true story, and pretty depressing. The teacher is great. He is a little bit of a nut. Also he isn't bad to look at. Well enough for now.

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I took this picture while I was walking Ann. Fall is coming.
I think it's a pretty season, but I hate what is to come. Burrrr winter is coming.

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This is Will. Next month he is will 14 years old. Where did the time go?

Do you ever wonder why?

Do you ever wonder why?

There isn't seat belts on school buses, but they are in airplanes? I say it's to save money on the cost of the bus, but isn't the chance of living better on the bus. With the seat belt on the air plane... I guess you can scream why you are strap to the seat burning up.

Who came first the chicken or the egg?

How anyone ever made it through life without computers?

Why the kids in grade school get the day off for student improvement day? Shouldn't they be at school to improve them?

Do you wonder why men cheat?

Do you wonder why there are holes in donuts?

Do you wonder why dogs eat poop and throw up, and everything else they can find on a walk?

How come Santa quit bringing me presents?

Why does my cat act like we don't feed it?

Do you wonder why more'sex', why now?

Do you wonder, why your parents told you stuff to scare you?

Why do cats have nine lives?

I wonder why, I am the way I am?

I wonder why they call you bitch?

I wonder why your child is so bad? When mine is not?

I wonder why when you get old.. you get ugly looking?

I wonder why I can't go home?

I wonder why most my pets are black? mmmm does that mean I am evil?

I wonder why my husband doesn't give me lots of money?

I wonder why the sunset is purple?

Do you wonder why Sammy barks a lot?

Do you wonder why kids have to grow up?

Do you wonder why the leaves go away?

Do you wonder why fish breath water, and people breathe air?

I wonder why someone stole my fish tank many years ago?

I wonder why a shark can't sleep, and how does it rest?

I wonder why the titanic sunk? In the movie they say it's unsinkable.

How come a country record played backwards fixes my life? How come I keep playing them backwards?

Do you wonder why pickles don't have calories?

Do you wonder why everyone calls you a witch, but your broom won't fly?

Do you wonder why your dog can't be as cute as mine?

Do you wonder why my husband won't buy clothes?

Do you wonder why your nose and ears never stop growing??? I bet your gonna go check to see if they are bigger than they used to be.

Do you wonder why you can't kiss your elbow? And did you know that if you can kiss your elbow. You will change from a boy to a girl, or a girl to a boy. I see you now, trying to kiss your elbow. I can't blame the boys for wanting to be girls. One word. Multiple.

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I lost my comment part of the blog. I don't know where it went, but I am trying to fix it. I like comments. One day it was there, and the next it was gone.

My client seems to be doing better. I hope he continues to improve. I hate seeing him sick. Sandy* is doing well too. Some days they sleep till noon or so, but when your 97 years old. You can do that. Lately I have been able to get online at work. I am in a warm spot. haha Meaning it's not a very good connection, but it's better than nothing. I also have a tv in my bedroom. Only thing I could ask for my was family, and my pets. Ann running though their place wouldn't really be a good thing.
Well I think I will go take a little nap before I go to school. Bye for now.

my thoughts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBCUgqji-kA

We has a pretty good weekend off from work. It's always nice to spend time with my guy. Okay almost always nice. Sometimes I need him to work so, I can watch lifetime. He keeps talking about finding another home for my new little kitty, but I don't want to. I know we are crazy with so many animals.
My clients are still getting worse. Bob* has of lately did quit falling down, but is having trouble breathing, and been throwing up. He goes to the doc, and they don't seem to do much for him. I guess it's part of the CHF that he has. I don't want him to die, but he is suffering so much. That sometimes I just wished he would. I hope not on my shift though. All of us caregivers say that though. I would rather him go in his sleep then at the hospital, and everyone would be yelling cold blue, and kicking everyone out. Hello!!!! Dudes the guy is 97 years old!! Can ya tell I have been with a client when they yelled cold blue? It's not a fun thing to go through.
Sandy* fell in the garage while I was gone. (that's what I was told over the phone) Ouch that had to hurt. She is probably okay. She is the strong one. She don't talk about dieing. It's not something you hear from her much.
Well I better get ready for work. bye all.
*fake names

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lunch date

I had this date with this wonderful, cute guy. He was so excited to see me. We didn't have a long time to enjoy each other, and our lunch, but it was great. I bet my husband is going to be jealous. I am so glad that Tyler, still likes to see me at school. Got ya!! What were all you thinking? Time for class now. Bye all.

We kept that cute little kitty. I tried to be strong and make it go away, but I couldn't do it. So now we have 3 dogs, 4 cats, (two of them are kittens) and we have two gerbils and a bunny rabbit. We are just plain nuts. Well I should get some sleep. Bye for now.

Can I say cute??? Girls don't get any cuter than this!!!